The grass is greener
Please don’t take this personally, but I hate all these Facebook status memes floating around. Even the funny ones. I don’t know why. They make me so crazy. I think maybe it’s because the “serious” ones made me so irate in the first place that even when the satirical ones came along, I only had space in my cold little heart to put them on the same shelf as the serious ones. But every time a new one pops up, I want to kick a puppy.
The more I think about this apartment we’re moving to, the more I think I may never want to move again. Washer and dryer included, ground floor, single level, attached garage, open kitchen/dining/living area, no yardwork. I HATE our setup now, even though it’s one of the things that attracted me to the house in the first place.
I wanted a kitchen separate from the rest of the house. Now that I have it, I hate it. Our old apartment had a tiny kitchen right in the middle of the unit. Now, it was a very efficient use of space; instead of putting a useless hallway to the bathroom and bedroom, they put a kitchen in. But it took forever to get anything done in there if there was anyone else there, and it heated up the entire apartment. So I thought I wanted a kitchen separate from the rest of the house.
Now that we have one, I know better. Our kitchen is not conducive to play time. It’s always cold (or super hot) in there, and the floor is always freezing. So the girls prefer to be out in the living room and dining room. This is kind of nice; I can get things done in the kitchen without small people under my feet, but it also makes me feel a bit isolated. If Jeremy’s home, he’s stuck in the living room with the kids while I’m cooking. If he’s not home, the girls are playing by themselves in there or long stretches of time. I’m all for independent play, but sometimes I spend a loooong time in the kitchen cleaning, cooking, preparing snacks or meals ahead of time, whatever. It just seems so neglectful.
Speaking of Facebook and bad parenting, a friend posted this:
I don’t know why it bugged me so much. I don’t typically take other people’s parenting choices as an attack on my own. I really don’t care what other people do with their kids, so long as they’re not abusing them.
I’m not a “babywearer”; I mean, I tote Emmy around in the Ergo a lot, and I did the same with Grace in the sling (which Emmy loathes with every little muscle in her body), but it’s purely utilitarian. My children are too heavy to babywear all the time, even with a good carrier. I breastfed, but when it wasn’t working anymore… meh. We’re switching to cloth diapers, but it’s almost entirely to save money.
And I’m enthusiastic about the things that have worked for us, too. Early sleep training, swaddling, to name a couple. Both of these are things some people strongly dislike. That’s fine. It’s worked for us, and it doesn’t have to work for them.
But it was sounded so smug, as if to say, “I’m a superior parent because I do X, Y and Z!” Even if X, Y, and/or Z are better for kids, that doesn’t mean that the other millions of parenting choices we make every day don’t even us all out. I know someone else who does all these things, but the house is filthy (we’re not talking just clutter and unvacuumed floors; it’s much worse than that). It is, in my opinion, a horrible environment for a child to grow up in.
Feh. This is not a person who is typically smarmy and judgmental about such things, so I should probably just let it go.
My sister dear is expecting another baby. I am positively giddy about this news. I am excited to have a cousin in the family who will be close in age to my own. And I’m excited that it will be the branch of the family that’s closest to us. Not close close, but at least Colorado and Utah share a border.
Speaking of which, I need to call her.
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People like that make me annoyingly paranoid. Yeah, we cloth diaper and moderately baby-wear…however, I didn’t breast-feed and the flack I got from it STILL makes me insanely insecure. And there are some people who just don’t realize what they are saying, but by stating things in that manner, are actually making the rest of us feel like we’re harming our child by *gasp* feeding them formula or not making their food. Obviously, this hit a sore spot on me. I wish I were secure enough in my choices to not be bothered by things like this, but I’ve always been more than a little insecure. And I totally *heart* having an open-ish floor plan. Our living room/dining area/kitchen are all one big room and it’s absolutely amazing. I can cook/bake AND keep an eye on the child. 😀
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wow your apartment does sound amazing! Ground floor and laundry are HUGE! Do you know what the sq ft are? Is there storage included? I’m excited for you! Do you know when the move is?
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ryn: thank you for the ecouragment. I think I feel horrible bc I lost my cool a few times in just one morning and I know I should be going to bed earlier. There’s just so much to do in one day and I’ve reached the pt in pregnancy were my sleep goes downhill….no excuses though. I want to be patient with the kids!
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I feel ya. I get overly sensitive whenever I think someone is saying my parenting is inferrior even if that’s not exactly what they are saying. And I sometimes feel people make desicions just bc it makes them seem better than others. As if giving up another convience makes them godly in the parenting world.
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Those crunchy types are definitely annoying. Yay babies!!
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I’m so proud of myself for playing Bejeweled Blitz and Zuma on FB all day long, so my kids learn how to make their own Ramen meals every day, and can take care of themselves. It’s hard, taking a stand like this, but I know that I’m teaching my children valuable lessons about thrift and responsibility.
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RYN: Oh my GOSH…the LOOKS I get when I mention that I’m having an “elected” c-section with #2 because of how things went down with P are absolutely awful. It’s like you just aren’t a “mother” yet, unless you pushed them out that way – even if it was a medical necessity. Thanks for the articles, I’ve read the 2nd one and I’ll check out the first one later this evening. I could go on andon about why my mental health would’ve suffered and how I know I’m not harming my child, but I won’t leave you 10 million notes :-P. I just think there needs to be more understanding and less pushing/judgment among women…but I think we’re programmed to be that way from childhood. This is why I have a total of 5 close girlfriends and get along so much better with the opposite sex 😛
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1200 sq ft in an apartment is really good and hard to find. Sounds like you have an awesome place! Will your sister let you stay with her?
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That status would have annoyed me.
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I. hate. smug. parents. Seriously. I’m not even a parent, and I can’t stand it. There’s not much that annoys me more. Don’t get me wrong–I’m ALL about doing the best thing for your child. I’m all about healthier, greener, financially-friendly alternatives. But I hate smug parents.
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It’s one thing to be smug in your head about the decisions you’re making that you think are awesome. It’s another thing to voice that at the expense of others who have made different choices.
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Annoys the crap out of me when people are all “MY choices are amazing and you all suck for not doing what I do.” I’m also tired of the status memes. Ugh.
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RYN: The gov’t doesn’t need methods of tracking us. We have student loans AND a car payment. The loan companies would do the gov’t a favor. Enough favors and they’ll earn another bail out! 😉
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That friend should get slapped. No, kidding, kidding. I myself am proudly choosing not to breastfeed surprise kid #3 (I did #1 & 2…didn’t love it). Okay, not PROUDLY, but decidedly and “I dare you to say ANYthing to me about this decision, you self-righteous little mommy-id-you!” Really, I sort of would welcome someone saying something just to unleash some stress I’m under. -The Sister
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OMG, Kemma’s note killed me. I am totally with you and would have had a similar reaction to that person’s Facebook post. I mean, sure, those all seem like great parenting choices (with kids amenable to them, of course) but WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU PATTING YOURSELF ON THE BACK ON FACEBOOK? So irritating. Barf. The new apartment sounds really fun. 🙂
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Ryn I absolutely appreciate your not and honesty. Yes breastfeeding means more to me then anything and I’m leaning towards waiting until she’s 6 months old before I do anything like mirena. I have two woman in my bf’ing group I want to talk about it with. I’m sad enough I can’t breastfeed her bc of work the least I can do is keep pumping so she’s gets it, just from a bottle 🙂 thank you so much!
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RYN: or a short outgoing boy. 😉 I’ll have to look into sonshine! Thanks!!!
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Everyone makes their own parenting choices at the end of the day and for better or worse, they’re your choices to make. there’s no such thing as a perfect parent.
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RYN: We did give him some infant tylenol. He did at least fall asleep for a while after that. As far as the teething goes…It’s the only thing that seems to fit (though it’s not definitive) and I got my teeth really early so I’m wondering if that is what it is. I had all 4 wisdom teeth removed when I was 12, if that gives you any indication! He seems better today though, so I’m just glad of it. 🙂
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It’s been 12 days. That needs to change. 😛
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I hate those memes, too!
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