I am feeling curmudgeonly

I had some tea last night. Big ol’ cup. That means three tea bags. The first one said, “THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT.” Okay. I mean, I bought a product; I didn’t donate, but if it makes you feel good, you can go ahead and think I’m supporting you.

The second one said, “YOUR CHOICES WILL CHANGE THE WORLD.” Is that supposed to make me feel fuzzy inside? Everyone’s choices change the world. I want to see tea bags that say, “BIRDS SIT IN TREES,” and, “THIS IS PAPER,” and, “IT HURTS TO LAND FACE-FIRST ON PAVEMENT.” Stalin’s choices changed the world. I don’t think you’d send him little encouragement platitudes in his tea, now, would you?

The third one–and this is my favorite–said, “HERBAL WISDOM IN A CUP.” I don’t know what that means. Does one absorb wisdom by drinking tea? Am I supposed to read the dregs when I’m done?

Today sucks. No, nothing tragic has happened. It’s the Sneaky Hate Spiral kind of suckage.

I lay wide awake in bed until 2:00 this morning. I thought I’d figured out this whole jolting awake thing: take a melatonin one hour before bed, then another right before turning out the light. It worked for a couple days. Then, last night, back to staring at the ceiling.

The morning started out well. Both kids in very good moods all morning. I got a lot of picking up done. It’s a beautiful day, and I have all the blinds open. All this light is one of the best things about this house.

And then, naptime. I put Grace down an hour and a half ago. She’s still awake. I’ve gone in there twice. The second time, she was hot and sweaty. She’s had a runny nose all day. Ooooh boy. I gave her some ibuprofen and put her back to bed. If she’s sick, she needs to sleep. I’ll get her up for good if she’s still awake in half an hour.

Emmy’s mood went from cheery to SCOWL! in about three second around 1:30. She’s been sneezing for two days. I gave her some Tylenol before bed, and I’m hoping she sleeps, too.

Poor kids. I must admit, I’m more worried about me right now. Grace’s long bout with sleeplessness gave me this panic response to any kind of bad napping or waking in the middle of the night, even if it’s just for one day. If either child cries once in her sleep just once during the night, my heart plummets to my knees, and I can’t fall asleep again for the next hour. It’s ridiculous. Somehow getting up all the time with a newborn is so much different from going back to it once the kid has been sleeping well for a while.

Oooh… silence!

Please please please stay asleep.

I hope I didn’t just jinx it.

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