You’ve got the right stuff…..

….baby, love the way you turn me on.  The right stuff!!

Oh, Im so antsy…there are rumors of a reunion tour…….I’d DIE to go!!!  Too bad I dont still have all my old NKOTB gear, I’d totally go to the concert pimped out in it.  Hehehehe.

Everything is alright.  I really am a shitty noter. I dont note anyone back these days and I dont blame people for ignoring my diary because of my rudeness.  I just lack motivation to do ANYTHING, even get up to go pee.  I dont have the energy or motivation to even do that, even though my bladder is killing me right now.

This baby has GOT to be all her daddy…..she’s turning me into a big lazy bum who just wants to sleep.  Not saying hes a big lazy bum……but he LOVES to sleep.  I cant seem to drag myself outta bed any more.  Oh please, please, please, please, please let her be a sleeper too, just like daddy.

I just wanna go crawl back into bed.  Thats it, thats all I wanna do.  Im so damn lazy and honestly its frustrating.

Dad is doing alright.  They are saying that he may end up in a nursing home in a few short months.  Exactly what we have been trying to avoid.  What it all boils down to is his attitude, it needs to change.  Until his attitude changes nothing else will change.  I spent the afternoon alone with him on Sunday, 12-3, he was a complete jerk to me and was very aware of how he was acting.  Later he begged for forgiveness, asked me not to tell anyone how he treated me and then told my sister we had the best day ever, neither of us got mad at the other.  Which was totally not true.  So he was trying to cover it up.  Im frustrated and to the point where I dont care to go visit that often any more.  But I feel guilty, like Im the bad child because I dont want to go see him.  I also feel guilty because he is my father, I should care enough to go visit him.  But honestly, Im tired of it.  Im tired of the routine.  I go up thre for an hour in the evenings and do nothing but argue with him about this or that.  He is impatient and wants things his way and doesnt understand that it cant be that way so we all end up sounding like broken records.  So aggravating.  I know that he mostly cant help the way he is, so then I feel guilty for being angry with him about it.  Quite honestly, I never imagined my dad as being (no offense) a retard.  I know thats not the PC term but it’s the truth.  That upsets me more than anything and is the main reason why I dont want to go see him.  I dont want to see him like that…….I want him normal again.

I talked to my cousin last night, either she ovulated later than expected or she is miscarrying.  Dunno what, but she goes back next week to find out more.  According to her period she should be about 3-4 weeks.  According to her hcg levels she is only about a week and a half.  Their son will be 2 in April and they were TTC and have another before the end of the year.  She said she doesnt really have any signs of being pregnant and nothing is going on that would resemble a miscarriage.  So who knows!!  Just gotta wait and see.

I’m taking my nephew to the Rodeo Parade on Saturday.  We went last year and had a really good time.  Hopefully this year will be good too.  Im thinking we can picnic in the park afterwards and then go see dad for a little bit.  We shall see.  Sunday is the big community garage sale, gotta work on getting my shit ready this week.  Hopefully we make a little money.  Something is better than nothing.  We usually do pretty good but this time we really dont have anything too great to get rid of, mostly just clothes I think.

The days are starting to get longer.  When I was napping on Sunday it was past 6pm and the sun was still up.  I thought to myself about how it should have been going down by now.  Its nice to see the days getting longer.

My tax check needs to hurry up and get here.  Hopefully Stephen’s next paycheck is a nice one.  We REALLY need to get caught up on things.  I wish we made enough money to live comfortably.  One day we will…….I know it!!

I’m anxious for July to get here already.

Visit <a href=’http://answers.yahoo.com’ _fcksavedurl=’http://answers.yahoo.com’>Yahoo! Answers</a> to find the answer to millions of different questions.