Yep, its Friday finally

Well, lets see, its 20 after 11 and still no sign of Anthony, no phone call, no nothing.  He left here at 2 on Wednesday and havent seen him since.  Hes not supposed to leave until 5 but he claimed he needed to leave early to get his oil changed.  Maybe he did need to leave a little early, but not THAT early.  He was complaining that his throat was starting to hurt on Wednesday, which Im sure I got him sick.  He called in sick yesterday but didnt call at all today.  Im getting REALLY tired of this bullshit.  He needs to have the common decency to at least call if hes not coming in.  And not wait until 10 minutes to 9 when hes supposed to be here to call.  Hes always late as well.  Hes becoming undependable in my eyes and I dont think he should stick around for much longer.  I need him here ON TIME on Monday because I have to leave as soon as he gets here.  Roger is going to be at the doctors office, so Anthony HAS to be here to run the office.  I’ll be pissed if hes late and makes me late or doesnt show up at all.

As for the weekly theme, the one thing in my routine Id like to change is the drive to Stephens, its worth it in the end, but its soooooooo long.  Especially late at night. 

Well, I’m such a wuss.  I gave in and went to Stephens, not that it’s a bad, thing, but I’m weak.  I can never seem to pass up the chance to see him.  I love being with him.

  

Last night he said something along the lines of he wishes that sometimes I would just flat out say things to him, about how I feel and such.  FYI, I do that already, constantly, hence the reason he seems to think I’m always upset with him.  If I wasn’t constantly telling him what was on my mind, he would have no reason to think like that.  And, another thing, I try to tell him how I feel about things and I get NO response from him, at all what-so-ever 9 outta 9.5 times.  So, who is it that needs to flat out say things?  Not me, him.  It drives me nuts that he never says anything. 

 

So, I’m feeling very overwhelmed as usual.  I’ve got a lot of things I’m worried about as of late.  Mostly finances, but other things there in the mix as well.  For instance, my boss collapsed over the Thanksgiving weekend.  Monday he goes to take the test to find out if he needs a pacemaker or not.  That alone is stress enough.  Its always been in the back of my mind ‘what if he dies’  I’m shit outta luck.  No job, no nothing.  So, now I’m worried about that.  Which is making me put even more pressure on myself about this job interview, I NEED to get it, just incase.  That way I’m working for  a corporation, and if my boss dies, I can just get a new one.  Selfish and heartless of me to think like that, but I need job security of some sort.

Stephen suggested he move his dental appointment up an hour or two, that way he can drive me into Houston on Monday for my shot and my interview, since I cant see to drive.  That’s sweet of him; it would totally rock if that worked out.  Driving into Houston makes me sooooo nervous, I can’t see a damn thing and when I’m going some place I’ve never been, it makes things harder.  I can’t read road signs so I get lost easily.

 

I’m stressing over finances majorly.  But what’s new there, right?!  Right!   My sister and brother both owe me money for Christmas gifts, my brother pays me every time he gets paid, my sister on the other hand has paid me once.  So, I’m going to have to converse with her about that ASAP.  I cant afford to do it all on my own.  People aren’t going to get their gifts if she doesn’t chip in and help me.

 

<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center” align=”center”>Stephen and I got our first official invitation as a couple; it’s to my Froggies 2nd birthday party.  He’s going to have to work, which is fine, he needs the money.  I will have to go this coming up week sometime to buy froggie his birthday gift.

 

Now, a small financial inventory list, just for my sake.

Between now and the time I leave for NY, if I don’t get my raise, I will bring home about 1250.  I need to make a 460 truck note, 150 to the hospital, about 600 in Christmas gifts to pay them all off, around 150 for gas and then 100 to the credit card people.  Then, on top of all that I need to go clothes shopping for my trip to NY since I’m from Houston, I’m not prepared for NY this time of year, so, lets say another 300 for that.  Which leaves me with NEGATIVE 510.  That totally blows.  I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.  ::sigh::

 

I was venting to Stephen last night about it, he said he’d help me, I appreciate the gesture, but it’s not his mess, its mine.   He’s got things he needs to take care of.  Quite honestly, I think it’s the trip that’s mostly screwing things up.  I used my credit card to get the tickets, I could have used that for Christmas gifts and the tune up on my truck I had planned to do, which now I have to put off until next year sometime.   If we could have taken the trip a few months down the road it wouldn’t be as hard.  That and I’ve had unexpected things come up in the last 3 weeks that has made me miss days of work.  On top of all that unemployment had originally told me they were going to pay me for lost wages due to the hurricane, but I called yesterday and now they say that they aren’t going to pay me.  Again, more money I was expecting but I’m not going to get.  ::pulls her hair out::  Its not that I don’t want to go to NY with Stephen, its just not the best of timing.

 

Blah, I think I’m going to shut up, I’m just rambling now.

 

Happy Friday to you all…………FINALLY!

 

PS.  Im horny as hell.  I havent gotten laid in nearly a week and the last two times I did get laid I had to wake him up so he groggily fked me.  Not that it was a bad fk, not at all.  I cant seem to get him to touch me for the life of me and I seriously need to feel him.  I wonder what I did, he used to grope me quite a bit and I cant honestly tell you the last time he did.  I wonder what happened…..