Top of the mornin to ya!

This weekend was one of the BEST.  I had my Stephen ALL weekend.  Oh I love him soooooo much.

What did we do?  Not a damn thing.  It was great.  Saturday I think I got outta bed twice.  Once to go to the bathroom, the other time to go downstairs for food.  We played games and just enjoyed being with each other with nothing to do.  Oh wait, I lied, around 4ish we got up and went outside to play in the flower beds and water the garden.

Sunday we did about the same thing.  Played more games, I wiped the floor with him on monopoly.  LOL  poor guy, he didnt stand a chance.  Craig wanted to cook something different for dinner so we went shopping for what we needed, then the boys cooked.  I sat back and watched.

I LOVE sitting back and watching him do whatever it is he is doing.  I cant help but smile, think about how much I love him and yes, get horny.  LOL.

Dinner was good.

I was sleepy, so I just wanted to crawl into bed afterwards.  We kinda got into a little argument before falling asleep.

It hurts my feelings that he gets frustrated and annoyed with me for always asking why.  I cant help that I do that, its just me trying to learn about things.  Thats who I am and it hurts me that he doesnt like that part of me, that he gets annoyed with me for being me.  He wants to change that part of me.  I dont think it will work.  Im a VERY curious person, VERY inquizative, why cant he just accept that part of me.

On top of that Im always asking him why he does or does not like this or that.  I just want to know what makes him work, more about him.  Im not trying to get on his nerves.  Most of the time he doesnt answer or just says I dunno when I know theres gotta be some sorta reason.  I think he just does not want to tell me because he’s afraid of how I will react.  Id rather just know.  Like I told him, if I get upset its my own fault for being nosy.  Still, Id rather just know.

Lately I havent been feeling much into sex, he thinks its because I dont want him and such.  Couldnt be further from the truth.  I just havent been in the mood, dunno why.  Could be that Im feeling unhappy with myself, could just be one of those things, it happens sometimes for no reason.

I keep complaining about being unhappy with all the weight gain lately but I dont do shit about it.  This weekend I was eating all kinds of shit, just eating and eating and the entire time I was yelling at myself because Im so disgusting already and look what Im doing.  I want to feel better about myself and look better but Im not doing anything about it.  I want to look better for Stephen, I want him to look at me and think "Damn" and not be able to keep his hands off of me.  Not to say he doenst already do that, but I sometimes wonder if its just because Im his girl and since hes a guy  and they are always horny, its just easier for him to get relief.  Id rather know its because I look so damn good and he cant get enough.  He says he likes the way I look, but again I sometimes feel like hes just saying that because Im his girl, not because he means it.  I dont want to have those questions in my mind, I want to be confident and believe him when he says those things. 

 I just feel frumpy.