The road goes on forever…..

First and foremost you guys have been amazing.  Your your words of understanding, encouragement and advice have been so appreciated in these tough times.

Stephen is home now and things are better.  I finally got to the point of being over it.  I didnt want to let the hurt I was feeling continue to have such a huge grasp on me, so I decided to let it go.  I decided that whats done is done, we can either address the issues, resolve them and move forward or I could stay stuck fixated on how bad he hurt me.  I finally told him that I wanted to let it go and move forward with our relationship, that he could come home when HE was ready and I would be here.

I realize that there are things about me, about him, about our relationship and how we handle things that need to change and I am soooo willing to make those changes.  I am trying.  We were talking last night and some things he said upset me, but I didnt let them take control of me like I have in the past.  Before I would just get so hurt and angry that I would allow those things to drag out for days at a time.  He got upset that he had upset me and I told him it was ok.  That its ok to have emotions about things and for either of us to get upset.  That it comes with being open and honest about things, its without a doubt going to happen that one of us will get our feelings hurt.

We have both apologized to each other and I hope that our relationship now moves into a direction that will never lead us down this path again.  I hope that we are both able to follow through with the changes we have decided need to be made. 

Bottom line is I love him and I NEVER EVER want to get to the point of pushing him away or him running away.  I want us to both be as happy as we can together and to not have the same problems we have had in the past.

So, thank you all again, you have been wonderful.