Sleepy Blue Eyes

Thats what I saw yesterday.  Mom called around noonish to tell me they were trying to unsedate dad.  I didnt hesitate to pack up and leave work even though I was in the middle of my lunch.  I left a note for my boss turned in my time sheet and flew out the door.

They had tried before to wake him up but had to resedate him because he didnt do very well awake.  All of his vitals and such would go through the roof.  So if they werent successful then I would go back to work. 

However, I got there and his eyes were open and he was nodding his head to answer questions.  He tried to talk a bit but he cant because of the tube in his throat.  He said he was still very tired.

I made jokes with him and he looked like he wanted to laugh.

I did notice that it looked like he was moving the left side of his face, that it wasnt exactly drooping, so that is a good sign.  I know we have to wait until he is fully awake before we can determine just what his situation is going to be like.

My brother and sister got there just after they kicked us out of the room and had to wait until the next visiting session.  Mom and I were in there in between sessions, they were nice enough to allow that since we had been waiting for 6 days.  I asked him if he knew how long he had been sleeping and he said no.  So I told him it was Tuesday and he went to sleep on Thursday then counted the days for him.  I joked that it was a really long time to sleep especially for him and he agreed and looked like he wanted to laugh.

Before his surgery they glued the wires to his head to monitor his brain waves, I told him how the lady came back and took them off while he was sleeping so that was nice of her and he said yes.  Then I laughed about how she would have been pulling his hair out and he would have been throwing a fit, again, I swear I saw laughter.

At the next visiting session he was sleeping.  My brother and sister were upset because they didnt get to see him awake.  I think I was more upset than they were, I really wanted them to see him.  Apparently after mom and I left the first time his blood pressure went up to 200 and something over 100 and something and his heart rate was at like 122.  Not good for anyone, especially not someone who just had major heart surgery.

Mom gave consent for them to put in a trach.  They said the tube made it hard for him to cough, was uncomfortable and could cause infection so the trach was the better option.  I was upset because I didnt see why they couldnt wake him up and try to wean him off of the respirator all together before they even tried the trach. 

But at the next session he was awake again and I was sooooo grateful they got to see him awake too.  Signs of his personality shined through during that session, which was good.

This morning I dropped mom off at the hospital and visited with dad.  He was awake but not all the way.  He didnt open his eyes and didnt respond much.  I tickled his feet to annoy him and you could tell I was doing exactly that. 

At the 8 am visit mom said he said he didnt know who she was.  Not sure why, he has been recognizing everyone up until that point.  He knew how old he was, how many kids he had, things like that.  When asked if he knew who anyone was he would say yes, my mom said "Is that Kim?" and he nodded his head yes, so he recognizes people.  Maybe he was just still too sleepy.

They reduced his sedation meds from a 10 to a 5 so maybe at this point he will be a little bit more awake.  Apparently he has been doing better while he is awake, which makes me wonder if that first time yesterday was because he got upset that we left.  As we were saying bye he held my hand tight like he didnt want to let go so maybe everything got so high because he was upset.  Now hes a bit calmer.

They also have said they are going to hold off on doing the trach because he is doing better today.  See…..I was right, wean him off of it and Im sure he will be fine, he doesnt need that damn machine, he is actually breathing quite a good amount on his own already.

The surgeons were in there talking to each other and mom was trying to listen to their conversation.  Apparently they said he was showing signs of improvement on the left side.  Not sure what those improvements are but thats VERY good to hear.

So, thats the situation as of now.  I cant wait to get back over there this afternoon after work to see him again.  I think Im going to sneak off to my truck later to take an hour nap again.  Yesterday I wasnt feeling too sick but today all Im doing is gagging.  I nearly threw up on my kitchen floor again and then again in the parking garage at the hospital as I was leaving.  I was 16 weeks yesterday….this shit was supposed to stop already.

Im concerned about the baby now.  Hope I didnt hurt it because of the exhaustion and upsetting situation.  I dont think I did but you just never know.  See, like I said, as soon as dad starts getting better I will start to worry more about myself and the baby and thats exactly whats happening.  Im feeling confident about dad right now which leaves more time to think about the baby.

I found out my cousins wife is expecting.  They too will be having their first a few weeks before their first wedding anniversary.  My family is joking that last year was the year for weddings this year is the year for babies.  I know for sure that me and 2 of my cousins are expecting this year and the 3 of us all got married last year.  We shall see who else pops up pregnant.

Ok then, I guess thats all for now.

 

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