Recap…

So lets see…..Saturday at the zoo was fun. The new exhibit had its grand opening, I was disappointed. I thought with all the hype it would have been a bit better, guess I just got my hopes up too high. Dont get me wrong, its a great exhibit, but not what I expected. There was also a few minor glitches, that I cant say, its for zoo peoples ears only….but I can say smiley

Friday night, lets see, what did I do??? Nothing…there was a lil thing goin on at the neighbors, but I didnt go….Dennis ***** was supposed to show up and I told Billy if he did to come get me so I could talk to him about the tranny for my truck. He showed up and Billy never came to get me and let me know. Im tired of getting the run around about my transmission, Im tired of not having wheels. He needs to fix the shit and stop bullshitting around.

I almost forgot, I finally got in touch with someone about that new apartment complex. 697 sq. ft for $530-$645, based on income. A little too much for me, but they sounded like nice apartments.

Saturday…did the zoo thing, went up to moms work, she works right next too the zoo so we carpooled in. Watched the tail end of the trailriders coming into the HLS&R parade. Read Cosmo, then went home. When we got home, I tried to take a nap, but couldnt fall asleep, so I took some snapshots of myself , nothing worth mentioning though. Later me, mom & Kris went and did a little bit of shopping. Didnt really buy anything. IMed Jonathan via the phone while I was out. Asked if I could call him in a little while…he avoided the question. Asked a second time and he was gone. Says he had an emergency with his dog. Part of me believes him, the cynical part doesnt. He could have at least said g2g, takes all of 3 seconds to type, but he didnt, he just ran off. ::shrugs:: By the time I got home I was pissed off and annoyed with the way my life is going.

Joseph was with Billy…they were meeting someone to look at a car Billy is trying to sell. The guy was supposed to follow them to our house, but apparently lost them somewhere along the way. I came out of my room for a second, saw him standing in the living room, he looked at me, I turned and went back to my room. After they left to go meet the guys again, I went into the living room. The phone rang, Kris answered she kept saying "Why" then handed the phone to me….it was Joseph. He informed me he would be knocking on my window later. I didnt try to stop him either. Why stop?? I’m just using him for one thing….I dont want anymore than that, and I’m a VERY sexual person, no one else wants to fk me, so why not take what I can get?? So I will…this is the best I will ever do…..why try to deny that??

Anywho…he came to my window, I asked where Billy went he made a comment about why I wanted to know, if I wanted more of Billy’s dick. That pissed me off. We got into it. He told me that for like the past 3 weeks Billy has been bugging him to find out if I wanted to fk him. HELL FKING NO!!! Billy has made comments here and there a few times that I have decided to ignore because I dont want to start shit. I dont want to be the bad person, and go through all that stuff again. I usually cut my eyes at him and ignore it. If I say something to Kris she will think it’s me to blame and such, but really its not. Maybe I should mention something to mom at least, that way I have her to back me up and say that I had mentioned it to her before. Anywho, one for instance…..a while back, I was at the neighbors, shooting pool, that night that Dennis ***** & I went up to HITW afterwards. I wrote about that night in my diary, but I didnt mention Billy. He had made a few comments about my tits and ass that night, things that were VERY inappropriate, but I ignored him and left it alone. Now that Joseph has told me this, I’m PISSED. Should I tell Kris, I mean she has a right to know, but with all that shit 2 years ago, I’m afraid I will be the bad person. She took his side back then, why not now? I dont even know if Joseph was telling the truth or not, even if he wasnt….still, she should know that he makes comments right?? Im so confused about that. Now I’m afraid maybe she will say things like what I wear around the house is to blame, I dont wear anything revealing. Try not to, trying to avoid this sort of situation. VERY seldom do I go from the shower to my room in just a towel, and I make sure to slide on a pair of shorts when I come out of my room, since usually when Im in my room Im just in a t-shirt and panties. Maybe I’ll wait it out a bit, but inform mom. ::sigh:: I dont want to hurt Kris. Any suggestions?????

Jonathan and I talked more this weekend. I told him I slept with Joseph. I wondered if the reason behind his questions about it werent selfish..then he mentioned being envious. So maybe he was asking for selfish reasons, because he wanted to know for himself. He confuses me, and I’m slowly but surely getting tired of the same ol same ol. The distance is too hard for me, and it makes me angry with him. I shouldnt be angry with him, its not his fault, but still……

Today is the first anniversary of the death of Sam & Candy. Does not seem like its been a year, time flies by sooooo quickly.

Ok, this is PLENTY long…hope you all enjoyed your weekend.