Mommyhood……

From my MySpace……

Brooke Lynn has kinda taken me on a wild ride the last few months.  To think, in a few short weeks I will actually get to feel her skin, smell her hair, inhale her breath, I just cant believe she is this close to being here.

I want to see her toes wiggle, not just feel them, I want to see her eyes laugh, not just the black blobs of holes they are on the U/S, I want to hear her hiccupp, not giggle at the sensations they create in my body.

I do want her here already and as much hell as I have gone though during this pregnancy and the threats of her being the only one, I will probably, most more than likely, jump at the chance to endure it all again…….of course given a bit of time to recoup in between.

So, the doc has me on bedrest now, go on Weds to find out if it will be the remainder of the pregnancy.  I REALLY hope not, Im going stir crazy sitting here alone all day long……it makes me feel so damn lazy.  So, I might end up on permanent bed rest and she might have to come a bit early, have to wait and see.

Brooke truly has given me the perfect idea of what exactly pregnancy is.  Thank goodness the sickness has clamed down to a puky feeling every now and then…….Im glad to be past that.  But, would I rather have that then unable to catch my breath, bend over, roll out of bed in a normal way, the pain in my hips, the heartburn, constant peeing, constant thirst, throwing up in my mouth in the middle of the night, lower back pain and not to mention the itching…….damn that itching!!  Come to think of it, maybe the sickness wasnt that bad after all.

Either way, it will all pay off in the end.  When she is here……the first time I hear those big ol’ lungs produce that first real cry……I know Im going to melt and the rest of my life will be for her…….I cant wait.

Although I still havent wrapped my brain fully around the idea of being a mommy……..in a few days……thats exactly what Im going to be…….for the rest of my life.