>Insert spiffy title here<

I dont feel like using my brain cells to come up with a title for todays entry.

Lets see, first things first.  Joseph……that night I told him it was a one time thing, and I swear on my frog butts life Im gonna do my damndest to keep it that way.  During our talk that night, he asked who I was seeing and why we had to stop, I told him no one, he gave me a look like ‘yeah right’ so I said, ‘unless you know something I dont know’.  Anywho….I told him I wanted to stop because I needed to seperate him from my life, that I had been doing that since the break up, but I kinda always kept him in the pocket, just incase.  He said "I know you have" about me trying to move on, I think it hurt his feelings, but oh well, not much I can do about that.  He mentioned something about me not caring about him any more, and how he has always cared about me.  With that comment I rolled my eyes, laughed and said "well you sure show it in funny ways"  My response upset him and he shot back with "Well, I cant make you believe me" or something to that effect. 

When we talked about my entries about him, he admitted that he gave me permission to continue, said that he was drunk that night and that made a difference.  Shortly after that he threw the beer in his hand away and said something like "I dont want it to be an excuse for tonight" so I couldnt come back later and say "well you were drinking that night"…..on with the story…..I assured him all of the entries with his name in them were now on private.  I asked him if I had lied about anything in the entries, if he was ashamed or something and he said no to both. 

Long story short, we talked for a good while….went to someones house, back to mine and fked that night and again the next morning before he left.  Billy and Josh were giving him a hard time at the house, saying he was whipped, and he laughed and said "damn right"……then at those peoples house he kept saying "baby, lets go" so Billy was mocking him and giving him a hard time some more.   Just as we started to have sex I covered my face with my hands, sighed heavily and thought "what the hell are you doing"……

Next order of business.  Andrew……he confuses the hell outta me still…..actually more like pisses me the hell off.  He’s ridiculous, he thinks I’m sooooo stupid and believe every single word out of his mouth, just like Joseph.  I dont though, I know both of their true intentions, sometimes I let loneliness take over and convince myself their words are sincere, but I know in the back of my mind that they arent.  They want me for one reason and one reason only, the same reason every other guy shows any interest in me.  I know better than that, Im no fool.  I’ve agreed to give Andrew one last try….with the agreement that he is more reliable and understands I dont need to hear all that bullshit about how he wants more from me and what not, when we both know that isnt true.  We will see how that works out….the moment I feel things slipping back to how they were, Im cutting him out of my life totally.  Easier said than done, but after all I did make a new years resolution to get rid of all the slimeballs.  Granted I’ve broken a few already, but I’ve got to atleast stick to one resolution.  Right??

Jonathan was sick last week, poor fella, but is doing better now I suppose.  I have to admit I’m a bit upset because he’s feeling better, I was enjoying his sweet company during the day.  Ahhh…..ok Kim, get over yourself….be glad he feels better.

I think its time for a diary make over again…….

Thats all for now, this entry was plenty long and should keep you guys snoozing for a while.  Take care, tata!!