In the wee small hours of the morning

Mark called last night.  I asked him what was going on with him and Heather.  He said he wasnt quite sure, so I asked him whats going on on his end and he said nothing.  I asked if he would take her back "ALOT of things would have to change…."  I told him that my gut says she is trying to ease her way back in.  Right now she is testing the waters to see where he stands.  He talks to her on a daily basis.  I suggested not doing that.  Perhaps she is taking it as an "oh theres still a chance" kinda thing.  He does not want to make it seem like he does not care and he does not want to push her away.  "Mark, no one said you had to push her away, if she calls, ignore her call one day, then call her back in 2 or 3 days"  Anyways, he wants me to come over so I said we will see how this weekend goes.  He wants me to come over when it’s just us.  I dunno how comfy I’d feel with that.  He’s made a few comments here and there that have me wondering what would happen if we were really alone.  I dunno ::shrugs:: maybe its all in my head.

Toby also called.  I was considering calling him Tuesday night, why, hell if I know.  I didnt, and he ended up calling me. I swear everytime I think about his sorry ass too hard he shows up.  I also told him to call me sometime this weekend.  I forgot about the holiday party at the zoo Saturday night when I told either of them to call me so one of them is going to be blown off I guess.  I dunno.

I havent heard from Joseph since the last time we hooked up.  His number was on the caller ID but I didnt return the call nor am I going to.  This morning Billy and I got on the subject of him.  "….I’m not fking him anymore"  "For how long this time"  Blah, he’s right, I ALWAYS say that.  "I’m a fking weak ass when it comes to that but this time I’m serious"  Man I hope I am strong enough. 

I need to go shopping either tonight, tomorrow night, or early sometime Saturday morning.  Froggies first birthday party is this weekend and I need to get him some sort of gift. 

Anyways, Kris is here to pick me up so I gotta go, TATA all!