I’ll take you to exctasy…..

I cried myself to sleep last night realizing exactly what I’m planning on giving up and who I’m planning on giving up. Is it wrong for me to just turn my back on every guy that is the slightest bit a pervert? Like I said, some of those guys are great guys……what if I will be turning my back on something good for me? I’m not speaking at all about Joseph….but other people.

I’m a logical person……..I trust my heart and try to follow it as best as I can……until logic steps in…..then I rethink things. My heart is telling me to hold on…..just incase….that this could possibly be a good thing…if only for a moment…….but my brain has stepped in and said its a far fetched idea, and crazy for me to even consider it. So I will shamefully retract and wave my white flag…..surrender to the enemy, my brain, and inform it that it has won…..my heart has lost yet another battle. It hurts to do that…….but I feel like I’ve trusted my heart for too long in this matter and I’m still getting the same results….its time to let the brain take over and see if anything can be accomplished.

After work last night I went and got a haircut……one of my BIGGEST annoyances is my hair to be cut uneven…..if there is even a single strand a bit longer than the other it will drive me fking nuts. I will continually measure it against the rest of the hair just to confirm over and over again that it is uneven. Well, that bitch cut my hair totally uneven, not just one strand but both sides are 2 totally different fking cuts…..ofcourse I didnt realize it until I got home and my hair had fully dried. I kept feeling it and thinking that it was uneven but it wasnt until it was dry that I confirmed it. My hair looks fking stupid….the left side looks good but the right looks awful. When mom got home I said “so I went and got my haircut and the bitch cut it uneven, you know how insane that makes me” She grinned and said “yeah” so I plan on going back again tonight. Heres the kicker….if I see the same stylist in there that did it I’m not going to get it done. I only want to complain if shes not there…..I dont want to hurt her feelings…..and I wont tell them her name……..I’m such a fking coward….or is it that I’m too nice, afraid to hurt anyone?

It appears as though I may get my email account back soon…….hope nothing is fked up.

Tomorrow John turns 17. I cant believe he is 17 already…where the hell has time gone…….wheres the 6 year old I used to give wedgies too until his underwear ripped…..or dangle out the window by his underwear. Wheres the little boy who used to call me big sissy? The little boy who irritated the piss outta me….but only wanted my attention. He’s grown up sooo much and I couldnt be a prouder big sissy. He is so different from me, yet so much the same. He has a different style, enjoys different things, but we are still sooooo close. Closer now than we have EVER been in our entire lives. I love him to death and I would do anything for him. Last night him, Tony and this kid named Josh wanted to go to wal-mart, John wanted to spend his giftcard. I took them afterwork….John was going to buy condoms with his giftcard, but was embarrassed about it. I said “At least you are letting the world know you are protecting yourself” then I said “Do you not want anyone to know you are getting laid?” So, I gathered up the 3 boys, after they had done a walk by condom observation..apparently John just pointed out what he wanted and they all kept walking, took them over to the condom section and grabbed two boxes. Went on to tell John these will work, those wont….out of these 2 which do you want….he wasnt so embarrassed with me there. LOL but I had to carry them to the checkout and I had to pay for them. Silly boys!

I fked myself last night……with my fave dead vibe….it may not wiggle any more but it still fills me up decently and feels damn good. I didnt cum…..didnt want to…..just needed to be penetrated.

How many of you watch that show Airline…..for some reason I really like that show. Some of those people are fking nut jobs…..they crack me up!

TATA all!

Avant~ Make Good Love

I got your legs spread all over the bed
hands clenched in the sheets
hair wild as hell I know
the only thing on your mind is sexin me
girl I can feel your temperature rising
you should feel my nature too
come on you should its gonna be a bumpy ride
girl lets do what we came to do

Girl when we make love all night
when we make good love all night
when we make love all night
we really make love
girl when we make love all night
when we make good love all night
when we make love all night
we really make love (come to daddy baby)

On the balcony ripping the rails
slowly I’m pulling you near
sayin shhhh babe dont make to much noise
theres alot of peoples who live around here
emotions running high
my hands planted on your thighs
you feel me going up and down
and round and round and round

Girl your drive wait in the back seat
windows tinted its getting deep
fog all over the glass
I dont know how long i can last
with you moaning crazy
girl keep on calling me
I’ll take you to exctasy
and when im done you’ll be fast asleep

The house the boat and the jeep babe
in the tube in the pool or the beach babe
get your grove on (get your grove on) get your grove on [x2]

sweet~n~sassy

December 21, 2004

RYN~ That’s good then b/c that’s the hardest thing to overcome. I hope everything works out for you. I’m going to be updating now so read my entry!

I absolutely LOVE that song! It rocks and can be soo true if it’s with the right person. The funny this the other nite I came to the conclusion that I would rather “play” with the guy I’m getting out of my life rather than someone else who I never would have thought there would be strangeness with that there is. It’s what made me come to my conclusion. If that makes any sense! L8r!