Home Sweet Home??? Maybe……

Ok well that was interesting.  Three times I tried to start a new entry and the page was just black.  I clicked on it and just started typing, then saved it and it worked.  So I clicked edit and it gave me the normal page for writing.

Anyways, Stephen and I might POSSIBLY be getting our own place.  Putting a mobile home on mom and dads property.  I applied for pre-approval, they called me, I went by there yesterday.  The deal is I have to get mom and dad to deed us over an acre of land, that way we can use that as collateral and get everything included in the financing, plus we will only have to come up with $500 for a down payment.  If mom and dad dont deed it to us, we have to pay for septic and such out of pocket and come up with about $1800 for a down payment.  I really hope mom and dad do it for us.  The only problem is my sister.  A few months back when she was moving her trailer in, she asked mom and dad to just put in writing that they pretty much owned 5 acres.  Mom refused saying she didnt want to put any of the land in our names, she wanted to leave it as it is so that when they pass away we can deal with it.  She’s trying to be fair.  When I asked her last night she mentioned that, I told her I already knew that and if we could do it in secret that would be great but I dont think thats going to happen.  Stephen suggested that we make up some sort of contract that says as soon as we get it paid off the land will go back into their name.  I refined that a little and said maybe in a year we can refinance and put the property back in their name.  Bottom line, mom said she will think about it.  We are all supposed to go up there on Saturday, so Stephen can see the houses and mom and dad can hear the way the financing and such would work.  Wish us luck.

I got so sick last night.  I threw up a little in my mouth.  I got up, went to the bathroom and on the walk back I felt sick.  I got dizzy, the shakes and felt like I needed to throw up.  It hit me hard and fast and I dunno what was wrong.  I was looking forward to getting laid but not after that.  It made me sad.  I just rolled over and went to sleep.  I feel better now though.

Only 11 days till my surgery, Im nervous.  We might be going to NY the rest of that week and weekend.  Its his dads 50th birthday.  Dunno if we are driving or flying yet.  It will cost about the same and if we fly we can stay there longer.  We shall see.

I’m worried if we do get this place, Craig and Rachel will be upset with me for stealing Stephen so to speak.  Right now we are doing all this in secret.  I dont think Stephen has mentioned it to them. 

It would be awesome to have our own place.  VERY awesome for it to be just us.  Except for the "Kim" being yelled outside my door every now and then from my froggie.  I know he will be coming to visit alot.  That will be fun too.  Plus on the nights Stephen works, I can go hang out at mom and dads and not be all alone.  I miss not being home.  It will be nice.  A few years ago I couldnt get far enough away from the family, now I cant get close enough.  Its funny how much Ive changed.  Im excited, but trying not to get my hopes up.

Im feeling financially overwhelmed right now.  I have to come up with money for a physical, all my bills and Im missing 4 days of work all in a matter of 2 weeks.  Theres no way in hell Im gonna be able to pull it off.  Stephens mom sent him money, Ive been begging him to save it just for that reason.  Im gonna need all the help I can get. 

Im stressed.