Here I am….

…..still jobless.  I applied for unemployment on Monday.  Gotta wait until the first week of February for anything to happen though.  Really sucks, I litterally have $0.21 in my bank account.  Well more than that but I have 2 checks sitting on the desk waiting to be mailed out, which would leave me with that much.  I’ve been so frustrated this past week and the more and more I think about it the more and more pissed I get.  I litterally had 2 days notice that my life would be going in a totally new direction, that I would be without a job, without money, unable to pay bills.  Im so pissed at my boss for this its unreal.  I went in on Thursday and found out that Friday would be my last day.  I havent heard from him since.  This is longer than it was the last time.  Im guessing this really is the end for me there.  I went and applied for food stamps too.  Stephen wanted me to.  No offense to anyone out there, but I am a very prideful person, I dont like to ask for help, Im headstrong and independent, one of those "I can make it on my own" kinda people.  I told Stephen I was too good for food stamps, I feel like thats lowering myself.  But its what has to be done right now.  Ive submitted my resume to a few places, no luck yet.  Wish me tons of it though.  Even if Roger did call and ask me to come back I dunno that I would, I need a stable job, a secure job, I cant do this shit any more.  I cant come in one day and find out that I no longer have a job.  At least give me some kind of notice to get my shit together, dont just throw me out on my ass.

After I applied for food stamps, which by the way, I also have to wait until the first of February to find out about, I went and applied for a small loan.  Just to pay off some bills for now.  They called Roger to verify employment, I knew that was the end of that right there.  He wasnt in the office, they were supposed to call me back, Im not even going to bother, I know Roger didnt lie to them if and when he did return the call.  Which leads me to my next rant, where the hell was he??  I know Roger pretty well like the back of my hand, I know that if he wasnt in the bathroom he should have been there.  The only other place he would have been at that time of day would be out in the field working on an appraisal.  When I left there Friday he only had one scheduled which was for Wedsnesday, this was on Tuesday.  Which leads me to suspect he got another appraisal request in and made the appointment on Tuesday.  Which means he is getting business so why wasnt I called???

Im just pissed.  So pissed.  So annoyed. 

Anyways, Im here at the library, the loan officer called me and was supposed to email me the conditions to the loan on our house, I came to check that.

A house.

A wedding.

Everything I was getting excited about…..down the shitter.  Im so disappointed, so devistated, so frustrated, so……just everything.

Life has gone to hell in a hand basket real quick.

It will get better, eventually.