A light shines through the darkness

 It is because of this day 6 years ago that I am married.  The events of that day were tragic, but what they lead to were a gift.

6 years ago I was starting out my senior year in high school…….I’ve probably shared this story before…….I had just signed on with the Army and was leaving for bootcamp after graduation.  A classmate walked into 2nd period saying planes had hit the tower, our teacher announced that yes planes had hit the tower and no one really knew what to say, everyone was in shock….the class seemed to fly by so quickly, I made my way out to Ag as quick as possible where for the next hour me, the Ag teacher and 2 or 3 other students sat around in the shop listening to the radio…hardly breathing, worried we might miss something……..rushed over to English after Ag and finally saw images of what had happened.  Someone had pulled up a news website on the computer and played the footage of the 2nd plane hitting the tower.  Up until that point it still seemed surreal, it didnt really happen, I had only HEARD that it had happened……..but, seeing is believing.  It was then that I started to get a little anxious.  I was dating asshole at the time who was supposed to have arrived back home, on a plane, from bootcamp the night prior.  I wasnt sure that he had made it home safely and I felt a little panicked.  After English I found the sister of the friend who was supposed to pick him up from the airport and demanded that she tell me if he made it home or not.  She didnt want to because he had said he wanted to surprise me……but after I made it quite clear I needed to know she said yes, he was home safe.  I felt a bit of relief.  The rest of the school day I cant recall, I know that as soon as I made it home I called my mom……why, I dont know……I asked if she had heard……I also called my recruiter, who was from New York.  He told me his family was right down the street from there, they were ok but he was still trying to reach other family.  I knew then that I had just signed up with the army and now we are going to war…I was ready for it though, he asked, I said I was prepared and now was more anxious to get it all started.  I was in the reserves and went to their monthly meetings, just to get aquainted, the next meeting was soon after that and they were already taking volunteers names.  I never ended up going to bootcamp, I got out of my contract with the Army, a choice that I am now happy that I made.  I wanted to fight back……..but on the same note, Im glad I didnt.

I didn’t know it……..but amongst all that chaos was the man I would eventually call my husband.  He was at home when the planes struck, sleeping (naturally), he spent hours upon hours at ground zero.  It was that tragic event that brought him to me.  Craig, the former roommate, was a first responder, one of the first there, before the towers fell…..Craig witnessed the towers collapsing and as one can imagine, it took a mental toll on him.  He eventually left the city because of that, Stephen followed close behind.  Stephen was unhappy in New York and Craig and Rachel uprooting to move to Texas was the perfect opportunity for him to do the same.  It wasnt that long after he moved here that we met. 

I am heartbroken over the tragedy yet grateful that it happened.

In other news, Im sick as hell and we are supposed to be having lunch with the boss today.  My nose is running, my throat is killing me and I’ve had (TMI) the shits for what is now 3 days.  I dunno whats wrong.

Stephen and I fought again last night…..I was upset, I left early on Friday to spend more time with him, I left early yesterday for the same reason……only to find out both times that he was working late.  He didnt get home until 9 last night.  I know he needs to work.  They cut out all of his overtime and its hurting us pretty badly, but on the same note I was upset that he is home early every other day except the days I leave early to be with him.  It really chapped my ass.  The fight soon turned to finances……..perhaps he will get a 2nd job and work the 2 days a week that he has off from his current job.  I’m not asking him to kill himself working all the time……just that he at least work 5 days a week.  Right now, our debt far out weighs what we are bringing in, mostly thanks to his paycut.  I wish I were allowed overtime here, I really do.

I love him, more than anything, I hate that we fight so much lately.  I cant wait to get past this all.

Ok, Ive waisted alot of time rambling because I really just dont feel up to working today.  Actually, i think I need to go to the bathroom again.