28 and a half hours……

First of all…..holy shit…..I just looked at my ticker…..only 91 days to go?!?!?!?  That cant be right!!!!  Its not that close is it?!?!?!?!  Damn…..ok, back to this in a minute.

In 28 and a half hours I will be walking out of work for the last time for a week.  WHOO HOO!!  Im ready to get the hell outta here and get on the road with my honey.  I need a break from this boring routine.  Im so drained. So tired of this dead end job.  Which means, in approximately 60 hours I will be in New York.  Give or take a few because I have no idea what time we are actually going to get on the road tomorrow night.

Im leaving work early tomorrow to go take my stupid glucose test.  Sooooo not looking forward to that.  Im afraid the doc is going to find some reason to put me on bed rest, then I wont be able to go to the shower.  Unless of course he puts me on bed rest and says he wants me back in on Weds, then I will just take it easy and go to New York anyways….he will never know.  But, he could always say he wants me back in there on Friday and again on Monday, then I have no choice but to make a video for everyone thanking them for the shower, apologizing for not being able to make it and sending Stephen on his merry way to deliver the message.  Or he could always want to admit me to the hospital….in that case Id still go with the 2nd option. Dunno for sure that Stephen would leave at that point but I would try to make him.  I really have no reason for this fear of being put on bed rest……I just think its my luck.

So yeah, 91 days huh?  Thats just friggin crazy!!  Im not ready, not ready at all…..cant I get a few extra weeks to try to prepare a little more?!?!?!?  I mean, Im ready to meet her……..but Im not ready for labor……..Im not ready for the financial responsibilities.  Its those two things that Im not prepared for…….mostly the labor part.  Im so damn scared it aint even funny.  I have NO idea what to expect and thats what freaks me out the most.  I could ask people for their birth stories but that does nothing……each birth story is so different, plus they cant show me what it feels like.  I think I have been having minor BH contractions and those are supposed to be so mild compared to real labor pains.  Not that they were terribly painful, just more annoying than anything.  I told Brooke this weekend she better come out small. Speaking of this weekend, I had a near minor freak out.  I didnt feel her move much on Saturday then by 10:30 or 11 Sunday morning I didnt recall feeling her move yet for the day.  I tried to stay relaxed and convince myself it was just in my head.  I listened to her and heard what I thought was movement but I still felt nothing……..FINALLY the little stinker gave me a good kick and I was soooooo relieved.  Actually heard her heartbeat after that……the first time Ive done that at home.  So I was much relieved.  Stephen said she probably was moving and I just have gotten used to it and didnt realize it.  I know he is probably right.

Peaking at my registry again…got some bath stuff, the jumperoo, the swing, car seat…..along with all the other things that were previously bought.  Still no stroller though.   Im a little annoyed about the car seat, that was something my mom had said she wanted to buy us.  Now, she could have very easily already went out and bought it, I dunno, but I doubt it.  If not that means someone in New York bought it.  Thats great, we need the car seat and I appreciate that we got it.  But on the same note I dont want my moms feelings hurt.  My sisters mother in law does that stupid shit to my mom all the time…….she will wait and find out what my mom is getting my nephew for his birthday or Christmas and then go out and buy the same damn thing.  Mom gets upset everytime and its so stupid of her to do that.  I dont want mom to feel that way about Stephens family.  Im sure it was just that someone bought us a car seat because they knew we would need it and they werent aware of the fact that my mom had dibs on it.  Whatever…..Im not gonna cause a big stink over it…….just gotta break the news to mom gently.

No one has bought anything for the babys room yet…..other than the bedding set.  Which of course we need that……..but I need some organization in that room too and I need the organization stuff bought for her.  I mean if we have to we can get it on our own but if I dont have to pay for it I dont wanna.  LOL.  Damn…..a whole new side of me comes out when it comes to this registry thing.

Wow have I rambled on a lot already.  Sorry, guess I should write more often and then it wont be so much at one time.

Going to see dad tonight wanted to do that before I left.  Cant just up and leave for New York without telling him bye.  He is having a hard time urinating on his own, they determined thats because of an enlarged prostate.  Just waiting to find out if its just enlarged and can be helped with meds or if hes got the dreaded C word.  If it is cancer that causes so many more problems, questions and concerns.  Not just dad fighting and winning……..but how do we pay for it??  Mom is about maxed on her insurance…..or at least she will be after he leaves this facility and goes to the next one.  I dunno that there will be money left from the insurance to cover cancer plus all this other stuff.  Once she runs outta money she can move to a new insurance but all of dads stuff is pre existing at that point so it probably will do no good.  Ugh, everytime we turn around its something new.

My brother flies home from France tomorrow.  Talked to him on the PC this weekend…..via web cam.  That was nice.  Made me feel better, now I know for sure that he is alright since Ive seen him with my own two eyes and heard him with my own two ears.

Had my first "Are you pregnant or just getting fat" conversation yesterday.  That was fun.  I assured her I wasnt just getting fat on my own.

Yep, I really probably should end this now.  Stupid me got myself a HUGE work load this morning and then realized tomorrow is my last day and this is a work load that should take a week to complete.  So I really need to get busy on that.

91 days……….damn!!!!!

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