Expectations

I don’t do well with expectations. I never have. As soon as I am doing well and someone notices, I feel like they expect me to keep it up and do that well or better….and so I sabotage myself and let everyone down. It relieves the pressure, but it’s lame because I actually do have good ideas sometimes, and I often really want to do well….but subconsciously I just can’t handle it. It’s lame.

Anyway, the last couple days have been a blur. No new progress with Anna, Alex has been whining. Constantly. I don’t know why. Ella has a new playhouse out back and we rarely see her now, lol.

Tomorrow (today as I am writing this at 1am) is Ella’s 4th bday. Which means that 4 years ago, I was quietly in labour, timing my contractions in bed, not wanting to wake Alister up in case it was false labour. Yea, that was awesome. Got to hospital at 8:30am, Ella was born at 10:40am. Ali finally woke up about 7:30, lol. Funny that it wasn’t my worst night’s sleep ever!

My Ella is just such a sweet girl, and I am so blessed to be her momma. She makes me laugh, she makes me smile, she makes me melt….every single day. She also usually makes me really mad, but…afterall, she is a red head!! lol

I had better get to sleep. I have singing time in the morning and I am not ready for it!! Sigh.

Steph