Updates

Yayy I actually have time to update.

After my break I’ve had a chance to really rest and enjoy my family. We;ve been visiting a few churches and there is one that I love the worship in but I don’t think it’s the church God wants me to join just yet. WE haven’t officially left the other church simply because God has not told us to leave but we haven’t been attending their services either simply because we are resting and honestly I’m just not on it. We had a sit down with the pastor and his wife and we’ve let them know that we forgave them and we have no hard feelings towards them and pray that they are doing alright. That was the closure that he needed because after the meeting we weren’t exactly speaking and he lost more than half of his church. Yeah it was that bad. Alot of the people that left were really hurt because he’d brought alot of people into his gossiping.

All in all I see more of a humility in him and I happened to go to one service after we talked simply because God made me go and his preach was much more Word oriented and rooted then his conventional practical teaching and useless facts(lies made up) that he was throw across the pulpit. the entire praise and worship team and ministrels left behind the fiasco so he didn’t really have praise and worship or music but it was a nice service. I really didn’t want to attend that service at all and I fought God all the way and even as I stubbornly went to another church to visit I literally had to leave 5 mins after I got there cause God kept telling me to go back . I was mad that I had to go back and when I got there honestly I felt nothing. I didn’t even feel as if I was part of that church anymore but Oh well until God says leave I guess we are still there. Even though we never visit.

Mentally i am in a really good place I am healed from the hurt of all that happened before and actually looking back on it I am grateful. God had to get me to a place of complete seperation as well as all parties involved to hear him more clearly. Well he certainly got that one taken care of. lol.

As of 04/13/10 I am back in the saddle for weightloss. I’ve been eating well and working out 4 days a week. There is a bootcamp workout group that I attend every monday for 8 weeks. I attend a walk/run club with a neighborhood running store group, and I walk on my own on weekends. I have lost 13 lbs so far and plan to keep it going. Logging my eating and activity on fitday.com is really helping me.

We got my husbands car back yayyyy!!! So now we’re back to two cars. The van is about nearly broken down from all of the riding but hopefully I can get it in the shop soon to get it fixed.

There is a prophetic conference as well coming up in the end of June in Tulsa, OK that I feel in my spirit  it is my mission to be at. never have I been one to chase after names or attend christian conferences but this one after reading the description literally jumped out at me and I have this feeling that I need to be there. Registration is a bit much and honestly looking at my money I have no idea how this will happen but I know from my prayer times and the prophetic word that I have received from the Lord that everything I need is in him. I am really just praying that if it is meant for me to be there that He will make it happen.

Really with all of this rest I am really having an issue with committment to ministry. Basically I love the freedom that I am having spending time with my family and taking care of home and only being concerned with God and I. I had an opportunity to become a volunteer prayer intercessor for a major christian association but I am praying about it. You see,  I know me. I know that although my intention would be NOT to dive in head first of an ministerial endeavor , I am an extreme person. I cannot halfway do things when I have a passion for it. And because I am an extreme person I find that my extremism gets me into trouble at home. Sometimes I can’t find the balance and I have a tendency to to get lost in ministry. I have hesitation of moving forward and joining a church for that reason alone. When I jump in head first I am a willing vessel and  in every ministry that I’ve ever been a part of that has caused me to be utilized to the max and in the end if I work with insecure leaders somehow I’m the one that gets hurt in the end. I know that this is a hurdle that I have to get over just don’t know how. So pray for me……

So that’s where I’m at in a nutshell.

OH OH and lexy went to her spring fling that was nice and lil quincy is playing basketball.

Thanks for reading me love ya!

Check out my playlist! They don’t have alot of Gospel on the site but I got what I could: