Take me away Jesus **edit**

Went to church yesterday for bible study and it turned into a prayer meeting which was really cool cause I needed some God and Me time yesterday. As I listened to the worship and began to focus my mind on God I started to meditate and when i meditate (as I am learning) that is when I can hear my heart and my mind really speak. I’m practicing meditating in chaos and noise also which is really hard but I’m getting there. Anyways, my copastor and spiritual mother last time we talked (and I wrote about it) told me some things and so I have been putting them to use when I pray or have my God and I time. Well I shut my brain off and began to let my heart speak and when it did all I could do was say ‘take me away Jesus. I want to go with you’. I was a little surprised at this because I am really good at masking my feelings and ignoring things within me that need to be addressed. So I let my heart speak and I cleared my mind of all distractions and I said "take me away Jesus". Then I began to sing it, " take me away Jesus" Over and over again softly  while meditating and then I began crying. Like a deep gut wrenching cry….. like I was travailing. Take me away Jesus Take me away Jesus was all I could say. In my mind I was thinking……" Lord I don’t want to deal with this anymore,  I don’t want to be here where I’m at anymore,  I just want to runaway into your presence" then as I’m typing this I thought about 

Psalm 91:1-5 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord he is my Rock and my Fortress in him will I trust. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day.

And the deeper I got into my singing and crying out to God I stopped. And listened in silence and this peace came over me. I mean like a gentle breeze wafted over my face. I felt like I was floating… Like i was no longer in the same place. All I could see in the spirit were clouds and this box floating and turning in mid air with the lid open and inside the box is a ray of Light. Lately whenever I get into the Presence of the Lord I see this floating box with the lid on it and the lid opens up and the light comes up out of the box and it floats in mid air above the box. God shows me that it is me. That light represents me. So I take it I am being taken out of the box and my light is shining.  Anyway I felt this peace  of nonexistance and I see clouds and I’m floating and it feels as if God has wrapped his arms around me and I’m just laying there then the prayer service starts to come to an end and I remember where I’m at and I come back to myself.  I’m still in a floaty mood even as we gather around to pray to leave and I’m still not ‘there’ with them. It’s like I’m someplace else. Then I feel this overwhelming need for a hug. As the service ends I go to hug people and not so much greeting but I’m looking for this hug. there are two ladies in our church that we call the Hope Word Huggers. They can squeeze some love into you like you wouldn’t believe. Well I went to the first one and her hug helped but it wasn’t what my spirit needed at that time. I went to the other one and I embraced her and THAT WAS IT! I just broke down crying and as I was hugging her the holy spirit began to speak through her. AS she was hugging me she told me to LIFT MY HEAD UP. God is carrying you through right now. You don’t see his footprints because he is carrying you just like the poem says. ‘keep your head up my sista!’ she kept saying. God is carrying you. Don’t give up! Don’t give up. He is carrying you right now and it’s all for his Glory! Keep your head up sista! Lift up your heads oh ye gates because the King of Glory is here. He has you in his arms and nothing can harm you. Nobody can take you out of his hands. Lift up your head. Hold it high! He is carrying you for his Glory!

Then she gave me words of encouragement. It really helped me out alot. Alot has been going on lately that I have hinted and pipped at but I haven’t went into detail on my job and in my home but I can’t quit. I refuse to. God opened these doors and placed favor over me and I have to pass this test so I can’t quit but the encouragement and that hug was so needed and It was just amazing to me that I cried unto the Lord and he heard my cry.

I asked Jesus to take me away and he did for that brief moment in time. I am sometime amazed even at when using my kingdom authority at watching things that I’ve spoken and commanded in prayer come to pass. I just think, " who… lil ole me? But I ain’t nobody, Who am I but a servant?" but every time God just shows up and he hearkens to my heartcry.  

 *edit* wow this just brought back to my remembrance a scripture that we read last Sunday morning in intercessory prayer  1John 5:15 And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him. ***

Okay I feel sooooooooo much better writing this as I was a little stressed and emotional this morning and reminiscing about last night is really helping. I just have to keep my mind on the spiritual things.