Pondering thoughts and answers

Thanks guys for your words of encouragement I’ll be sure to pass them on to Big Q.

He is really crushed about it and was hoping to get out of there but he’ll be ok. I’ve prayed like crazy for him because I just know how bad he wanted this one. But in my prayer I had a really good talk with God and he gave me some answers for myself and for Quincy. I relayed the message to him and he completely agreed that it is something that he has to do within himself. And I’m reminded of the text that my uncle sent to me the other day that shocked me "All things work TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD,  to them that are called according to God’s purpose. Rom 8:28". I know that God has a plan in all of this as a matter of fact he told me so therefore I can stand on his promise.

I’ve been really meditating on the book of proverbs and now I understand why. I think one of the most powerful things said was said to Quincy one day by a lady in their prayer circle at his job and it sticks as true. The book of Proverbs teaches you how to deal with man,  and the book of Psalms teaches you how to speak to God. Well I’ve been in this season of increasing in the natural carnal part of me and Proverbs has really been a tremendous step and God has been speaking to me through his Word to touch upon every issue that I have.

This past weekend I went through some serious changes mentally,  and emotionally. And it was nothing special about the circumstances. Nothing HUGE happened or anything.. .it was just a personal frustration that I couldn’t and at times can’t seem to shake. Talking about it really doesn’t seem to help the situation and I don’t want to be pacified about it so I’m just gonna haveta deal with it shut up about it and put action to change it. I have no time for pity parties.

I am really grateful though that after feeling that God wasn’t near me or didn’t hear me this weekend that when I got up to pray today I began to selah (pause),  and just meditate and listen and the more I could hear him clearly.

Tomorrow is Lexy’s graduation from the 5th grade and I’m really excited about it. Not too excited about baby daddy and his family being there but oh well such is life. That is another personal frustration. I really have some issues with bitterness towards him and her,  i mean it’s to the point that when he texts me or even when his mom calls me I get this pang in my chest and this anger rises in me. I know I need to be delivered of this thing for real. I just hate that he wants lexy to be his daughter and have her come out every other weekend yet he doesn’t do ANYTHING for her. When he buys her clothes he keeps them at his house,  and he hasn’t paid child support since 2006. But he is also not her biodad. But I feel as if now that the cat is out of the bag,  you know,  i know Lexy knows. When you decided that you were still be the role of her father you need to take responsibility and help me take care of her or leave the whole situation alone. But it’s hard for me to get this across without arguing yelling and literally trying to jump over tables to choke him to death. Yes…. I must admit he does get me to that point,  Good ole sister Nikki cannot contain herself when it comes to matters of Lexy sorry. I have kicked in and shattered bullet proof glass doors once when he tried to take her away from me as a baby,  and our relationship was very abusive.  I really need to be delivered of this……

~He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.~

Proverbs 25:28

 

 

There are so many people searching for truth, searching to find God and understand. Unfortunately, most of them want to know how to find peace while living in sin. They don’t want to give up their lifestyle(repentance). They want to feel good about themselves and convince themselves that God is happy with them the way they are. The "new age" preachers have come up with a formula — simply redefine God. As if we are here to just hang out and do what pleases us.

 

This is a time of separating the wheat from the chaff. Everyone will have to take a stand on one side or the other. It’s all a part of the process of the Second Coming. I pray that Christians everywhere will not fall prey to these deceiving doctrines. ~ Starting Over (od member)

 

 

~I pray the desires of my heart flow with His Will.

 

Ronnie (OD member)