no pain no gain right? 1 purple heart for effort

OOOUUUCCCHHHH is all I have to say this morning. I feel like I’ve been hit by a ton of bricks!

Can you all believe I walked over 20 miles last week!?!?!? OMGosh I wasn’t even RUNNING that far when I got up and did my 3 mile runs 3 and 4 days a week! I guess baby steps really do add up. I’ve just been doing 1-3 miles in the morning with my aunt and we talk the whole way and laugh and all that good stuff so it doesn’t even feel like we walk that long. Then Saturday morning our women’s ministry did a 1.5 mile prayer walk.  so yeah that’s 6 days straight that I have walked woohoo yay me,  right?!?!

 Well this morning I drug major butt tryna get outta bed lol. But I did it. I called my auntie and we hit the pavement. So today I get one purple heart for effort lol. And we did the uphil walk so my legs feel about 25 lbs heavier and sore lol. My driver side seat is completely broken as in it lays all the way down on the back seat. The seat was already broken since like April so I’ve been used to it. I just prop pilows up and roll but it has gotten ALOT worse and now I have backpain so I gotta get that replaced ASAP.

This past weekend was indeed the weekend from HELL but I made it THank you JESUS! Every project that I was dedicated to came to pass wonderfully even though I was wore out and all was well. I went to see Why did I get married and it was sooooooooo Good!!!! Jill Scott and Janet Jackson need to be nominated for oscars or something shoot Tasha scott ( i think that’s her last name lol) Too. She was Hilarious! I love love loved that movie and  I went to see it with My girls Quincy and one of the girls husbands is my cousin and they both said That they all reminded them of us. WE greet each other by screaming " DIVA!" just like they did in the movies lol. And there is one person to fit every persona there lol. My husband said he liked the movie because it not only was like an updated waiting to exhale but the men played a very good role in this movie. There was a balance. It wasn’t just some chick flick it hit all sides of the spectrum. I love love love this movie! I might go back and see it again. Work it TYLER PERRY with the quality thought provoking movies!

The photoshoot went well but I really do not like looking at pictures of myself lately because my weight gain is very visible but oh well. What can ya do yanno? I just know that I will be back down so I’m not worrying. Perspective is really weird yanno. It’s like you see yourself in your minds eye to look a certain way and you run with that. But when the pictures and mirrors tell you the truth it can sometimes be really discouraging but I am Glad that I don’t see myself in a bad light. Even in my dreams and narrations of myself. I don’t see myself as this overweight,  short curly haired(even though it’s past shoulder length stretched),  acne having person, even thought that’s what the mirror would say. I see so much more and sometimes I feel like mirrors and pictures just short change me sooo much. I am sooo much more than what a person’s eye can see yanno. And anyone that knows me or gets to know me can see that as well. Like I was looking at Jill scott and although she is overweight no one EVER emphasizes that. Yes she is beautiful and yes she can sing beautifully but if she was unknown and you just saw a picture of her without ever getting to KNOW her spirit and how elegant and beautiful it is then you would judge her solely on looks. Well that’s how I feel about me too. Like I’m GLAD That I don’t allow myself to look at myself from a ‘viewers’ perspective but I see beyond all this outter appearance. when I have visions of myself I’m what I want to be or are striving to be physically not what I am. And I know that my spirit is beautiful just because of the confirmations from others when I talk to them and get to know them yanno. And it’s amazing that I move and react and carry myself like I weight about 150 lbs lol. Like on the praise and worship team there is another Girl on the team that was intimidated by me at first (we are really close now but she told me in the beginning she was),  I asked her why… she said because I was so non chalant about things that she worried sooo much about. Like I would jump up and down when I got happy in the spirit and I dress diva style and she wasn’t used to seeing an overweight women be soooo confident in herself and that it inspired her after she got over her intimidation. And then the more we got to know each other (the whole praise team there’s like 4 of us) the more retreats that we went on and shopping sprees and shut ins, the more she began to gain confidence in herself. She dressed drab and she had a perm but she had a bald spot in her hair and she kept her hair short and there were other things too. Well One day I noticed that she cut all her hair off and rocked an ultra short hairstyle. AND it was fierce!!!! At first she was scared and went out and bought a wig but the short hair looked soooo good on her. She grew her hair out natural and there is not one bald spot on her hair it is GORGEOUS! Her husband LOVES to dress up and she would NEVER dress up.She’d wear like a plain sweatshirt and jeans and when she seen how we (praise team) like to get diva glam she said she felt she had to step her game up and she feels so good when she looks good. Her husband is LOVING it. Shoot now she is fierce and whenever I get down on myself she reminds me of how I inspired her to not let outward appearance and other peoples opinion determine how she will look. And there have been many others in the church that say the exact same thing to me about my spirit. I thank God for that,  and i sometimes have to remind myself of these things here lately especially with the weight gain. I plan on beginning with the end in mind lol.  

OKay now I feel like I have went a lil deep on yall with that one but I’m practicing this deep thinking and allowing my mind to be free,  and not so programmed yanno?

Okay enough of my ramblings for today lol.

~He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.~

Proverbs 25:28

‘I grew up penecostal and I now attend an apostolic church, but I have long ago taken off the denominational boundaries. I’m sick of religion and tradition. I’m more concerned about relationship with God through Jesus Christ.’

~me