Happy Fathers Day! Perceptions of a daddy’s girl

Hey all!!! Happy Fathers Day to the Dad’s and Single moms out there that have to do it all alone.

I wanted to come by and give praise to all those Good fathers out there that are trying which I still will,  but then I read a couple of my faves heard from a couple of friends and my mind went back over this weekend and my spirit has really been grieved. I never realised how many young and older women despise Fathers day until this weekend. Maybe I was just up in the clouds and never noticing this day affected so many people like this or if I was just ignoring it but there are literally tons of women that hate this day.

Growing up the only parent that I had was my father,  My mom was running the streets and jumping on whichever wind of man came into her life’s train and leaving me. My grandmother (my dad’s mom) had custody of me so basically I was raised by my grandma and my aunt’s as women role models in my life and my daddy and my ex-stepmother (I Wish they would’ve never gotten divorced) as my parents. I was an only Child until I was about 8 years old so I was spoiled rotten by my father and he still favors me to this day *wink wink* lol. But he had his issues, and  just like he had them then he has them now. He used to have a drinking and drugs problem back then (too much partying) and now there  is the gambling and drinking addiction that he picked up in it’s place. Yeah it annoys me like crazy but I still respect him in his place and will put the smackdown on my little sisters and brother if they ever think of disrespecting him (real talk). God blessed me to have married an even better model of a father than my own and it amazes me daily how much he takes care of everything. I mean he’s like a high maintenance version of my father without all the drugs,  drinking and gambling issues. I honest to God honor my husband because he has actually taught me things about being a parent period that I can’t say that I learned growing up. He has 9 brothers and 5 sisters and he was a change of life baby,  the baby of the bunch. So growing up he had wisdom all his life,  his parents had went through their trials as parents before he’d even come along so he was able to get all the good stuff and the nonmistakes that young parents make and he models that in how he takes care of the kids.

Sometimes I just sit back and watch him yanno? Like I say all the time and I never saw myself as a stellar mother to be raved about. I’ve done good so far. My kids can never say they saw me smoking, drinking, drunk, high (atleast I hope my daughter was too young to remember all that stuff those were the presaved days),  or using profanity around them.  I don’t do it around them or even at all lol. And I stay on their case about the books, learning, and activities. My husband on the other hand gets them together about keeping house and wisdom to live by. I wish I had that trait and that sense of affection that he has but unfortunately I don’t.

I’ve been trying to display more affection to my children and even people around me but honestly I wasn’t raised that way. I wasn’t raised to be all lovey dovey and expressing affection. I always wanted my boyfriends to display it to me but I never did it. As a matter of fact I would never kiss my mother, I wouldn’t dare hold hands with a girl out in public, and I refused to give her hugs coming up. I think maybe I have that unaffectionate trait in me because I act alot like my father and he wasn’t really affectionate either. hmmm   gotta disect that in another entry.

But my favorite memory of coming up with my daddy was on days when we said forget the world it’s chill time. He’d stretch out on the sofa and I’d stretch out on the love seat and we’d lay back and watch movies ALLLLL Day. He loves explaining movies and stuff to me like I don’t know what it’s about,  so I’ll sometimes ask questions but for the most part watching movies especially action movies was our thing. Action movies and comedies. As a matter of fact I could still go over his house Now and do the exact same thing. He does it with the kids now so it’s really funny to watch them ask him a million questions when watching a movie and he’ll light up explaining it to them.

I’ve kept that tradition going in my family. Every Sunday is chill day. When we get out of church we strip and put our PJ’s on and watch movies ALLLL day lol. It’s gotten to the point the kids just know the routine they’re surprised when we don’t do this lol.

But in light of all this my heart was really saddened this weekend to hear a friend of mines disregard Fathers Day. To her it was just another day that people get to spend money. I was actually shocked because her Father lived in the same house  with her and she’s grown up with him around all her life. She seriously has issues with her family though. I’ll never really know the magnitude of why she feels this way but I pray that she and all of my other faves are healed from broken hearts past hurts, and terrible memories from their own childhoods. I never knew that there was that kind of hurt stemming from it but then again I can relate with mothers day I guess. although my mom is gone I resented her for a LONNNNGGGGGGG time. I thank God that he took alot of that hurt out of my heart and allowed us to develop a realtionship before she passed away. And I pray for all of my faves and all of my friends that have resentment in their hearts towards their dads that the healing process begin and that instead of holding grudges that they all get a chance to atleast confront their fathers get the anger out (in a nonvoilent way) so that they can begin to heal and possibly build a relationship. I found out with my mom after she died that there are 2 parts to every story in life that has two parties and sometimes it takes actually walking a mile in that persons shoes to understand the decisions that they made in life whether it was their own choice or someone elses.  

The greatest lesson that I learned from my developing a relationship with my mom was that I had to enjoy her while I had her because not having her at all once she was gone helped me to get through it all because I had peace. I could’ve allowed my hate for her to take over and never gotten to know her but I had to let my guard down and throw some punches at first but once I got tired and exhausted from being angry all the time I was able to calm down and open up. That Helped. I believe that God doesn’t make mistakes and he knew what he was doing all along because I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am better because of everything that happened to me in my life. I was raised by some STRONG women and one STRONG man and I have will power and tenacity like you wouldn’t believe because of it. Had I been raised by my mom I don’t think I would’ve turned out as well truthfully.

So I thank God for my praying Grandmother and I know that my father will thank me for praying for him once he turns his life around and takes a look back. You can be the majority and change the curse as well to all my faves that were hurting this fathers day. I speak life over every one of you that read me and have hurting hearts and I pray that God’s will be done in your lives. God is in control, and h

e’ll never leave you nor forsake you. He is the prime example of a loving father and he knows all of your needs.

now if you made it this far in my entry you must really love me! God bless ya!