Screams in the night….

I am sitting here this morning nursing a cup of coffee and am definatly NOT awake, unlike master three and a half. Oh what I would give to go back to bed…just for a couple hours*sighs* Never mind, I cant I HAVE to clean the back yard up today after DGG.

So the reason why I am so tired is I was woken at 12:30am by Master three and a half screaming. When you have a child you soon learn that different screams and crys mean different things. This one woke me and I ran down the hall thinking he had a bad dream or someone was in his room or something had bitten him. It was that “Mummy get your arse here now I am as scared as hell” kinda scream.

I flung upen his door and his face looked funny. It was blood. EVERYWHERE. This has happened once before when he was about one and a half. That time I freaked out and threw him under the shower cause I didn’t know where it was coming from. This time I knew what it was so I went straight to the cupord and grabbed a flannel after sitting him up, went into the kitchen and grabbed ice and a tea towel and wet the flannel and went back to the bedroom. He had a nose bleed from hell.

When I went back in I turned on the light and it looked like something from a horror movie. The back of his head was covered in blood from where it had run out of his nose and pooled behind him on the pillow. I pulled the pillow case of and the pillow was red. My poor baby 🙁

He was so good even though he was scared and shaking. he sat there while I pinched his nose and he held the ice to the back of his neck even though it hurt cause it was so cold. I cleaned him up with the wet flannel and kept wiping the blood that was pouring out of his nose. I started to get a bit concerned when we had been at this for half an hour and the blood still hadnt stopped. Just as I was about to call mum the bleeding slowed down.

Ofcourse once he was cleaned up he wanted to sleep in my bed. So I got a towel for my pillows incase it started up again and he climbed into bed with me. He is a squirmy litle thing when he sleeps. That one of the reasons why he DOESN’T sleep with me on a regular basis. Consequently what with him squirming and me worrying cause this is the second nose bleed he has had in two week (the first one he didn’t wake up to and I discovred all the dry blood in the morning when I woke him up) I got very little sleep.

I have decided that it isn’t urgent, so I will take him to the doctors during the week about it. Going today, on a Saturday would be fruitless and it isn’t urgent. So I will take him mid week when it is quiet.

Well if nothing else this little episode has taken my mind off C leaving. Feel a bit empty today but no longer am crying when I think about her being gone. I just have to keep myself busy as I said and learn new things to enrich myself while she is on the other side of the world doing the same.

In my last entry I mentioned Bealtine. I don’t know how well I described myself or what it was. Seeing things like this will be popping up a bit more often I suppose I should describe what it is I do.

I am a pagan. I believe in a God and a Goddess and unlike christianity I celebrate the changing of the seasons and how they effect us as ppl and mother nature. I was innitiated wiccian about 4 years ago. Unfortunatly I found it to be very organised and political. The Church of Wicca here in WA has for the last 10 years or so been very public and was actually a registered church, the first of its kind in the world as far as I know. I was in one of her sister covens until a number of run ins with my High priestess. She was a very opinionated insecure woman. Anyway to cut a long story short I left my coven and have been working solo ever since. At first I was very dedicated and continued celebrating all the moons and festivals, but eventually without that bit of guidence and group working my interests waivered, untilo life and other problems took over and I stopped doing formal rituals on my own.

One thing I do miss about being part of a coven is the group interaction, visiting other groups and talking to like minded ppl about something I believe strongly in. Beltaine is the spring festival and I will be going o a druid grove to celebrate with them. I am hoping as I have mentioned this might be my first step back into the pagan community. I have been gone now for two and a bit years and maybe all the rumors arond the circumstances of my leaving will have died down.

Anyway any questions on what it is I do, as this isn’t a piece of me that I have sared before, leave a note and I will do my best to answer…but I would just like to say now, what I do ISN’T devil worshipping ( I don’t even believe in the devil) and it isn’t black majic either. Thee is good and bad in each of us and it is up to us as to what we do with it…..

Just another little piece of me ……..