Replying to a note.

Unfortunatly I am one of these ppl that believ in freedom of speach, so I allow unsigned notes. Sometimes though I find the a bit frustrating. Someone will leave me a note and I would really like to go to them and explain and I have nowhere to go *laughs*. Anyway I had just posted this last entry and went on to reply to my notes from my previous entry and found that I already had notes to “Screams in the night”. This is what was left for me as an unsigned note :)(And thank you who ever you are because this is one of those questions that often pop up when you have worked solitary and in a coven)

Isn’t being a solitary wiccan better? I mean, isn’t a coven somewhat restricting? (Has never been in a coven, but is a solitary wiccan.)

Ok thats one of those twisty questions that I agree and disagree with. I think that in some ways being solitary IS better. When I first started working on my own I loved the fact that my rituals were mine. That I could put up my circle any way I pleased. I could choose to celebrate any way I pleased without someone saying “no thats not right you need to do this here.” To me my religion is something that is gut instinct and comes from the heart. Having someone telling you that ur instincts aren’t quite right is very diheartening.

Another thing I disliked about working in a coven was the control a High Priestess( From now on known as HPS) can exert over her coven members. My HPS for example had a thing against us reading ANYTHING to do with paganisim, witchcraft, the occult or wicca. She decided that any information we were to recieve was to come purely from meditation. Now thats all well and fine and I have to admitt that for the first year under her I had some amazing meditations that I learnt ALOT from. My problem is I am an academic. Once I had found something in a meditation I wanted to go research it, read about it and find out all about it. My HPS wouldn’t allow that. Books unless approved by her were banned. Now there are some great pagan writers out ther and lots of information. I can understand to a fluff bunny some of this information could be confusing or even put ideas into their heads they weren’t quite ready for. But I had been a pagan all my life, was brought up as a pagan. I have a grasp of the basics and even a bit more than that (although I still have a LONG way to go to get where I want to get!)I didn’t feel I needed my reading material censored. She dissagreeed. This was one of my many problems with the way My HPS ran her coven.

At the same time after saying all this, there are some things I LOVED about being with a coven. I LOVED working in circle with other ppl. The energy a group of compatible souls can raise is sometimes mind blowing and almost orgasmic in its purity and love. I loved being able to discuss things with like minded ppl and gaining new perspectives on things. I loved the socialising that was involved with the pagan community. And I loved knowing there were brother and sisters (fellow initiates) there 24/7 if I ever need an ear, and the same applied to them.

For me the coven was very much a social thing . It also kept me on track. I am in essence a lazy person and sometimes if there isn’t someone giving me a little push I tend to sit in once place for a long time. For me after going it both ways I think I am a better candidate for a coven than solitary. But I know and understand that my way isn’t everyones way. But having walked both paths I can see the pros and cons for both.

At this stage in my life I think I am looking for a coven that isn’t quite as strict as my old one. One that will understand if I have to work and my son is sick and I cant make every festival and moon. But one that will support me in my want and need to start walking the path again. I am ready to stand face to face with the goddess again and see what she has to offer me and what I have to offer her.

So I am just searching again. ATM I am still solitary but now I am a working solitary after having a break. But I am a Solitary thatwould like to be in a coven. Does that make sense?

I hope I answered your question, and thank you for asking it as it made me think about what it was I did and didn’t want this time around.

Just another little piece of me…..