I remember sex on the counter being good…

*** Warning! Possible TMI! As if the title didn’t hint at that already***

I know that on occasion I come up with a title just to mess with those people on the front page, but this is not one of those times. I promise you that this entry is about exactly  what the title says. I thought about making this a faves only entry, but I’m sure people who aren’t my faves might know where I’m coming from, too! Ok, you’ve been warned!

Maybe when you get married certain things about sex change. Or maybe it has something to do with the three kids. I’m not sure which it is, but I do remember that once upon a time, sex on the kitchen counter was hot. It was sexy and hot and all together good… But somewhere along the way, things  have changed.

I remember a time when sex on the kitchen counter meant that we wanted each other so badly that we just couldn’t wait until we got into the bedroom to rip each other’s clothes off.

Today it meant "The older kids are in bed and if Mommy walks past the spoiled baby she’ll start crying and then Daddy won’t get any before work… So we’re stuck with the kitchen or the laundry room… The dog is in the laundry room, so the logical choice is the kitchen." Not so spontaneous…

Once upon a time, while having sex on the kitchen counter I only actually thought about the counter once… That thought was usually "Oh my God… That counter is cold!" And then the counter was out of my head.

It seems that now the counter is far more important to me, as half of my "kitchen counter sex time" was spent thinking things like "I JUST cleaned this counter." and "I’ll have to be sure to disinfect it as soon as we’re done."

I have a vague memory of a time when the blinds to the giant glass patio door being open only added to the fun. I think I probably thought "Let them watch if they want! If anyone sees, I’m sure they will be jealous."

I don’t remember thinking "If someone’s watching, I’ll bet ANYTHING that they are laughing at this awkward position he seems to think I can stay in…"

I’m fairly sure I used to moan and say my husband’s name during "Kitchen counter sex"..

I don’t think I EVER started giggling uncontrollably when we used to have kitchen counter sex….

Anyway… You’ll be glad to know that Stephen left for work a happy man. (And I don’t think he hurt his back when he lifted me onto the counter, which is yet another thing I don’t remember worrying about before kids).

Also, most importantly, you’ll be thrilled to know that the kitchen counter has been cleaned and disinfected.

I think I’ll stick to the bed… Or the couch… or the floor, even. But I think we’ll skip the kitchen counter for a while.