Things are Awsome

Well I guess I could say things are awsome at the moment… Its only been about 3 weeks. but things have been great with Ellie… It hasn’t really been all that bad with seeing each other, even with the distance between us.. I guess the 45mins drive isn’t all to bad.
Ellie seems to slowly but surely opening up how she feels for me… Shes not the best at expressing herself in words.. But in actions she shows she cares…
So far no fights or disagreements on anythink so that is a plus… I’ve been seeing her about two times a week… Staying the night. So you could say that. that is 4days a week.. and that really isn;t all to bad…
Convos have still been as interesting as ever.. And she has still been driving me crazy thinking about her…
I’d say, so far I have done a pretty good job with holding all my crazy overwhelming feelings to myself… One thing I have learned is not to smother someone with alot of feelings at once.. It can be sorta creepy and not really wanting that sort of thing so soon. Like the whole after one month saying I love you thing.. Not that is just crazy.. It takes alot longer then just a month to feel that for someone. If anythink its just lust or some sort of puppy love…
The only thing I have to watch at the moment, is that I dont go on and on about Ellie to my friends.. Considering I think about Ellie alot.. And that I am tiring not to do to much, Its easy to just start talking about her…
Its probably alot harder for me, considering I can’t just see her at the drop of a hat… So I am always waiting, and wanting time to go faster so it comes around to seeing her and spending time with her again..
Another thing that has been interesting, is that there hasn’t been a over kill of sexual activity. Some relationships I have been.. Have just been pure sexual and nothink else.. But Ellie and I have had alot of time just taking it easy. watching movies or tv or just sitting around talking.. So that has been a plus…
Like we have got naked alot.. But we havn’t made it turn into sex and so on every time…
I am not fully sure if that is because of the type of person that Ellie is. Or if she is wanting me to make a move on her… I am just not fully sure on that… But at the moment the way things have been sexually has been fine with me… I sure hope it is the same with her.. Otherwise she might just end up finding sex somewhere else… Not saying that she would do that, or I think she is the type of person that would do that… But more from whjat has happened to me in the past.. g/f wants sex.. I wasn’t around… So she finds it else where…

Ellie sure seems to have my trust tho.. Hasn’t made me feel like I shouldn’t trust her.. Hasn’t put me in any situations where I would feel extremely jealous,  And does a good job at insuring me that she wants to be with me and that she wouldn’t cheat on me…

The one thing that I have thought about is that maybe she would get bored of me.. Considering that it is still earlier days of us being together… And that she didn’t reallt kniw me before hand, makes it or that more possible that she would get bored of me. But once again she hasn’t said anythink or givin me any signs that she dislikes things I do or gets bored of me…

I miss her… I love just looking at her… I love her smile, Its just so much fun being there with her talking to her. I love how she makes me smile. Ellie is just so easy to get along with… Shes a lil bit out there compared to “normal people” But I don’t think I would get classed into that range of peoples neways… Sometimes there just are things that I would do that would just be a lil bit out of the normal… Think it makes it a bonus.. Considering that you can have a convo of nothinkness but it isn’t nothinkness.. Yeah that prolly doesn’t make much sence but that is sorta what it is like lol…

One thing I have noticed… Is moods…. And at times it is hard to pick… Some times she is those moods of crazy talk… I’d say she is like that  half of the time she is alone… Also there is normal person mood.. she is also that a bit of the time… And one mood that I like to see(because it is hard for her to expres herself in words)… that has only come out of her a few times.. is the sweet, sensitive careing mood… And a few times we have had the mood of bak the fuck away from me I can’t be fucked with anythink… But I have a feeling that when she is in that mood she realizes it.. And does her best not to say anythink she normaly wouldn’t to me… Also there are the lil kid moods.. they pop up every now and then.. very funny and cute they are.. Never last long tho.. Also sleepy moods Had a few of those considering a lot of the times I have been with her it has bee late at night… I am sure there are a lot more moods out there to find.. just like there is with everyone.. But so far over all things have been awesome… I miss my squishy! I really would just drive to her right now to hold her, Even if I was to drive home right after doing that.

I’m sorta scared at the moment to tell her that I miss holding her.. I really don’t want to make her feel like she is under attack by feelings or somethink.

Ellie really has made a great impression on me, And I really am falling for her a lot more every day. She is so beautiful in more ways then anyone else would think, Some times I wish she could read my mind, It would be so much easy to let her know how she makes me feel… I really hope things last between Ellie and I.. I’m going to do my best, to make things work… I just hope that she feels the same… Neways enough for now.. This has gone way long enough.. And while I am writing this.. It makes me think about her way to much…