Tuna and Crackers
That’s my snack tonight, do you think it will make me fatter if I eat this late at night. *shrugs* Don’t really care. So I just finished reading a friends entire diary and I’m at a lose for words. There is such beautiful things that come out in her writing. And I never really realized how shitty of a friend I was to her. I guess you can say I’m a little me oriented, *coughs* not me. I’m a horrible selfish person, I’m not sure how that happened, were did I go wrong with my life. If you ask my mother she would say it’s because of my lack of faith in a certain magic man in the sky, I had two children out of wedlock with two different men, never finished college, and devotion to bad men. My stepmother would say that like to be the victim, i sabatoge everything I try to do, I always choose men that are not good enough for me, I’m selfish, and I put the men in my life before my kids. My dad doesn’t talk to me about things but he has been disappointed in me since I was 18 and told him I was pregnant. I’m pretty sure most everyone in my family either hates me or thinks I’m a total waste of space. I love my sister but I never know for sure what is going through her head so I really don’t know how she feels about me sometimes. I have totally failed my only friend and almost let a guy come between us again.
Anyways enough hating on myself, I have a wonderful man for now, I’m extremely excited about moving to NY to be close to him, and I can’t wait.
~Happy For Now
RYN: Wow. Well 1st off don’t worry about not being here when the Marine just randomly showed up, you can’t help that you weren’t here & I know u would have helped me. It turned out awesome anyway, and you DID listen to me when you returned & that’s what I needed so thank you 🙂 I really hope u do get to meet the boy 1 day, but PLEASE don’t sleep with him just to get back at me k? lol seriously.
Warning Comment
And I freaked out when you told me you read my entire diary, til I realized that about 300 of my entries are private lol. Still I’m impressed, I tend to write ALOT and most of them are me being pathetic about the Marine, it takes alot to get through all my drivel. If I wrote anything mean or bitchy about you I’m sorry just remember diaries are for venting emotions. I don’t like that reading my…
Warning Comment
words made you doubt yourself. Yes it’s true that you are a selfish bitch but you should be proud of who you are! Sure you have been a lousy friend in the past but you are NOT a bad person! You always have the best of intentions and you do care and that’s what matters. I love you too woman! Regardless of the crap we put each other through. I’m FULL of flaws too I’m bitchy and self centered too.
Warning Comment
But accepting each other as we are is important. I think When you become friends as kids you really have to work at maintaining friendship as adults because there are so many changes. So I’ll try harder too. I look forward to getting to know you as an adult 🙂 Yeah “the Bryan Saga” I think it was a good lesson for both of us: STARBUCKS FIXES EVERYTHING! haha Love you forever ♥
Warning Comment