For No One

 

It doesn’t matter that you wore gaudy yellow socks with scraped red shoes and bleach-stained purple leggings. It doesn’t matter that your coat was ravaged, spilling dirty black cotton tears, or that your scarf was a discarded plastic trash bag. It doesn’t even matter that your mind is not connected to the world that you are forced to shuffle aimlessly through.
What matters is that I saw what you did. I saw it and I cannot forget it.
Painfully, I have tried, but I just can not understand why you did it or even how the idea to do it could possibly occur in your delusioned mind. But, then, I suppose that even at my age I am still having trouble in admitting that I really don’t know that much about how life is supposed to work. Maybe I will never see the big picture, even though people like you keep patiently trying to teach me.
I noticed you looking my way at the stoplight. Why did it have to be me? You must have had a sense of hope that I would be different than the other drivers that had denied your existence because you started pushing your wobbling shopping cart in my direction. I was hoping that the light would change so that I could accelerate and drive away, escaping any possibility of a connection between the two of us. But, the light did not change. And you made it to my window.
I am embarrassed to think of how you must have seen me. Nonchalant, acting a bit intruded upon. Pretending that you were not worthy of my notice. As if I or any of the other drivers were better than you. I suppose that you are used to this daily abolishment. You were bold and looked unashamedly into my eyes when you tapped on my window. You were humble when you asked for some help and you were sincere in the gratitude that you expressed when I haughtily shoved a meek amount of change into your hand.
It should have ended there, but then you asked me who I was. I was so stunned that I actually told you my real name. And when I asked you the same, you smiled the most haunting and Hallowed smile. You simply replied, “I am no one!”
Then you took the money that I gave you and placed it into the palm of the man with one leg, on crutches and holding a beggars sign on the other corner. I know that you were hungry. I know that you were suffering, and yet you chose to endure your suffering in order to help someone who is more tormented than you.
I just wanted you to know that after I feasted with my family on Thanksgiving, after we pushed away our overloaded plates, after we sat in the comfort of each other’s love…I thought of you, whose name is No One. I remembered your supreme effort at humanism. I remembered your pain, and above all, I remembered your compassion.
And I cried as I fed my dog the leftovers.

Take care (and take care of others when you can)…    

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November 27, 2008

Very beautifully written! I wonder why we fight those feelings of compassion…if we’re deep down afraid we are equal and don’t understand if that means what we think we want it to mean. Brings out feelings we’re not sure how to handle. But the ‘afterward’ feelings leave no doubt in your mind. Sorrow…shame… Lovely writing. Random noter

November 27, 2008

At times we all need reminders. BTW, it was great to see you lit up on my favs list. Hope you choose to start writing again. You weave magic with your words.

November 28, 2008

I am no one. Yet, we are all somebody. You were an Angel and an Angel connected with you to help another Soul. If only everyone would help someone, then ‘no one’ – everyone- would be always blessed. Then maybe there’d be no homeless and no poverty. We always help no one who is somebody. Gee, it was great to see you on my Favs again. Wondered where you went. If you were alright. If you were stillaround… writing somewhere else? How have you been? Prayers are with you. Praying you are back to stay. Sure miss you here. Happy, Healthy & Safe Holidays to you and yours. GBY&Y Smiles Hugs Love

November 29, 2008
December 1, 2008

Wow. Welcome back.

December 2, 2008

Welcome back MLM! I think we should grab a few brews ( I will even forgo my usual non alcoholic beer ) and celebrate your return. Hope you have been well. This entry is vintage MLM, inspirational, well written, and really makes me think. Rob

December 4, 2008

Oh my… this took my breath away. How many “no-one’s” do we pass in our lifetime? How many people do we see, truly see? Because of you, one’s man’s humanity was recognized, and he in turn, passed that gift on. Such gifts are the threads that can heal the rips in our world. Remember…. and as long as we remember, they are not forgotten. Thank you for your words and the gift of your story here today.

December 4, 2008

Kindness and compassion come in many different wrappings, no? Thanks for sharing this with us.

December 4, 2008

What we need to hear…precisely when we need to hear it. :nod: This is beautiful – and may you carry the memory in your heart forever.

December 4, 2008

A friend of mine told me about your entry, so I came here to read it. Thanks for sharing this; it is so poignant. blessings of the season to you,

December 4, 2008

Thank you for this so thought-provoking entry.

December 6, 2008

RYN – Thank you for your words. You are welcome to sit and read for as long as you like. I’ve added you to my favs, btw. I’m looking forward to reading the rest of your diary. Your writing touches my soul & my heart.

T
December 7, 2008

I guess we are our brother’s keeper after all. Thanks for this.

December 7, 2008

This happened to me on a Thanksgiving once (in 2002 I believe) – in a different way but the scenario was the same. Perhaps you didn’t think of it, but after my visit was finished at the house where I had Thanksgiving dinner, I asked them if I could take a plate to the person I met. I drove back and gave him a full plate of dinner. He was very appreciative and I was so happy.

December 7, 2008

i work with 200 “no ones” who are all very much someone and they remind me every day of just how lucky i am. thank you for this.

December 9, 2008

ryn…sorry haven’t answered..about football. I don’t watch the games anymore. Get too tired watching all that action…grin. Hey, it’s time for another entry!!

December 11, 2008

This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing.