A Brief Entry

Let me introduce myself. I am a friend of Moonliteman. Being that we have a pretty intimate relationship I feel that I know him considerably well. Over the past few years I have witnessed some of the memorable events in his life.

I was with him as he walked out the door into an uncertain future, leaving his shattered marriage behind. He realized that his mind’s survival depended on his leaping into the unknown. I cried with him when the loneliness was so strong that it drove him to his knees. I sat with him as he talked his way into a great job that he was under-qualified for. I am proud of the way that he has excelled and earned the respect of his co-workers. I prayed with him in the tiny hall closet as one of the deadliest tornadoes in recent memory brutally ripped through his neighborhood, shredding many lives. He learned just how fragile his existence really is. He took me along with him on a sunny afternoon when he finally decided to re-enter the world of the living by meeting a female for lunch. He was a bit skeptical, but after a few minutes with her he decided it was okay to give romance a try again.

Ummm, he still needs work in that area, but all in all, I guess the guy is making strides of improvement. Well, actually there is one area of exception that I would like to point out. It’s this whole Open Diary thing. I mean he has really dropped the ball in this arena don’t you think? Oh sure, at first he was all gung-ho, writing at least once a week, but now it’s like pulling teeth to get him to sit down and contribute to this fine community. So, that’s where I come in. I’ll go to bat for the slacker and write something.

Who am I? Well, like I said, I am a close friend of MLM. How close? Let’s just say that he doesn’t hide anything from me. I know his true measure as a man. I am a pair of his underwear. Yes, that’s right, I said underwear. Moonliteman is out galavanting around somewhere so me and the rest of the clothes are throwing a little party. Right now the Bermuda Shorts are firing up the grill and the Doc Martins are throwing together some great dance tunes. The Dockers are arguing with the Van Heusen Dress Shirts over what beverages to put in the ice chest. The Dockers want Shiner Bock beer, while the Van H’s prefer Portibello wine. Hey fellas, settle it already and let’s get this shin-dig going!

It’s always up to the underwear to keep things in order. We have the worst job of all the garments. I mean, the view down here isn’t the most attractive if you get my drift. Even on vacation, while the other clothes get to see the bright city lights or a glittering starlit beach, us undies are left staring at the same old boring scenery. How about spicing things up a bit with a tattoo on the left cheek? Is that asking too much? Anyway, back to this party. Our last one resulted in the old Levis flushing a couple of wash cloths down the toilet. Those guys are into the whole ‘it’s better to burn out than fade away’ lifestyle. Some clothes just get too rowdy for my tastes.

It’s too bad that Moonliteman isn’t a cross-dresser. It would be nice to have some frilly feminine garments to mingle with. Guess it’s time to break out MLM’s Victoria’s Secret catalogues. The way his love life is going, that’s the closest either one of us will get to actually having a romantic evening. I suppose that it’ll be another night of watching ESPN. Come on already Moonliteman, get a date, for Pete’s sake!

Hey, I understand that you humans are a bit mystified by the ‘disappearing sock in the dryer’ phenomenon. Let me enlighten you on that one. They are made to do that on purpose. The sock makers genetically alter the material so that one of the socks evaporates after twenty dryings. This, of course, means that you have to go out and buy a new pair. Seriously, I got that straight from an old tube sock who just recently lost his twin.

I would like to tell you more clothing secrets, but it’s time to get going. There’s a big Spray ‘n Wash fight in the living room and I don’t want to miss it. Perhaps some other time we’ll get to meet and chat face to face(so to speak).

Remember, treat your clothes nicely. After all, they say more about you than you think.

As Moonliteman would write…Take Care.