An update to the madness

So since my last post, I have still be able to go to dialysis on my regular schedule. Although I am trying to get my  situation resolved with my medicare and medicaid online with out having to go down to the department of social services building. It is located right next door to our local health department. I have never been there in the past and not been surrounded by people waiting to be seen. I am scared to risk the chance of contracting the virus. I have called and  left messages for a call back in reference to my case. Just have to wait. I did not go to my doctors appointment Wednesday. That appointment was for me to have vein mapping done to determine where the doctor will want to place a fistula into my arm. The fistula is a device that will allow the dialysis facilities to give me treatment through the veins in my arm with needles instead of using the port currently coming out of my chest that is connected directly to the arteries in my heart. The fistula is preferred over the catheter because the risk of infection is very high in catheters. I am not going to lie I have been putting off getting the fistula for about 4 months now. I have a huge fear of needles and getting shots. Wednesday was not intentional it was completely out of my control. My job has some writing on the wall and I think the company is about to close the doors. In 2018 my Store was sold with 3 others to a family owned corporation in our state. When they took over we went from getting paid weekly to a new pay period that cut checks at the end of the month and on the 15th of the month. We would have to wait at least 2 days to receive pay in a direct deposit. If the pay day fell on a weekend or holiday the deposit would be delayed. About a month ago we received an email that we would changing to a new pay cycle in order to get a more consistent paydays. Sounded great. 1 pay period into the new cycle we receive another email stating we will no longer be able to get direct deposit. The reason given was that the payroll systems the company was using requires payroll to be submitted 5 days prior to the payday. Seemed a little awkward but they were mailing checks from the east coast of the state and checks arrived at the stores on payday in the mail. So on March 13th I deposited my paycheck, that next day when the check posted to my account we went grocery shopping to get more supplies in case we have to shelter in place in the near future. I spent a little on Sunday and Monday and then on Tuesday I stopped at the laptop repair shop to pick up the laptop so the kids can start their online classes. Our schools in NC are currently closed due to the virus. I get in there and my card declines. I check my account via an app and see that my entire paycheck was taken back. The check did not clear due to NSF. I called in to my supervisor who then began speaking to other employees and turns out all of our paychecks had bounced. The operations manager reaches out to the corporate office and they tell him this completely bullsh*t lie. About a year ago one of the main store at the beach was robbed. The thieves stole a delivery truck with several very expensive mattresses in it. I do not remember anything be said about checks to the company being stolen but it was a year ago and I do not remember it in exact detail. Anyway the Owners told the operations manager that when that robbery occurred they have had to clear payroll check for everyone every month since last year. She stated that every payday she has to give some kind of authorization to the department of treasury that the check were actually good checks. My question about this is why would anyone go through all the extra steps at least 2 time a month for over a year when they could have just gotten a totally new account number for the bank accounts. Well that’s not my decision to make and well above my pay grade I am sure. So they went to deposit all new checks to our accounts on Tuesday. Funds were back in our accounts by Wednesday. I was so stressed about the whole situation I called my cousin to see if she could give me a ride to my appointment since the Jeep definitely could not make it a drive 45 minutes away. I had planned on getting the Impala inspected and registered and then going to DMV to get tags and be on the road by 1 pm, but the tires were flat again on the impala and now I am convinced I have to get new tires for that car. I am worried about the cost of that because these are low profile tires that fit on 20 inch rims the tires to this car are extremely expensive almost 200$ per tire. Definitely not in the budget. So my cousin was not able to give me a ride and I decided to just not go.  I had been nauseous that morning and vomiting a little bit so I just slept in. The next day I check out local news and there was a confirmed case of the virus at the hospital I was going to for my appointment. I was a little relieved that I did not go. So I go to dialysis on Thursday and I ask one of the techs taking care of me, how long is too long to have this catheter. She told me she knows of a few patients that refused to get fistulas and have only had catheters the entire time they have been getting treatment. She stated it is very important to keep the area clean to not scratch and pull at it and to keep it protected from moisture when bathing. She said as long as I do that I will be okay. I was so relieved to hear that. So I am sitting in the chair getting treatment and I go online to pay my cell phone bill and my card declines. I go to the app and check the account and my paycheck has been removed a 2nd time for NSF. I call corporate myself this time and was given an apology and a pitiful excuse that she had no idea how this could have happened again. Regardless she said they would be making another deposit and get everyone there pay for a 3rd time. I really think they are trying to cover up that we are going out of business. We have also closed 3 stores in 1 week. An email came out wanting us to clean the stores during this down time, and to send a detailed list of all inventory in our store rooms. The boyfriend is on the delivery team and was called into work early to travel to 1 of the 3 stores closing to move everything out and take to the central warehouse back on the east coast of the state. While there he saw that the owners were keeping 3 luxury sports cars in the warehouse as well. The 3 cars hold a value of over $250,00.00. Makes me wonder if they are hiding the vehicles so they do not get repossessed. I do not think they are being honest with us. I know that one store was closed due to eviction for not paying the lease to the tune of $40,000.00. We also were told that our orders with one of the manufactures were being screwed up by the manufacture, but that turned out to be a lie too. My supervisor spoke to the rep for that manufacture and we were not getting our order because they were not getting paid.  The other store had its power shut off while the delivery teams were in there moving everything out of the store. One of the owners were there at the time and she stated to the workers “Good thing we still have daylight.” She was not surprised and then began to push the team to hurry up. We have another payday coming up on the 27th I hope our checks clear. I am not leaving any money in my account when it does post I am taking it out as soon as it post. It may throw me in over draft again but I wont let it jeopardize my ability to pay my bills. They won’t get that money back. So I come home worried about my phone being off that evening hoping the pay will post by the next day. I explain to my sister how upset I was about the whole thing and then go upstairs to my room and begin to try and relax and calm down. While I am up there all of a sudden Kay comes upstairs crying. I ask her whats wrong, what happened? She stated that my sister has yelled and cussed at her about a plant her Grandmother mistakenly took a few days ago. The plant was one of my Mothers since my Mom died August 30th it was something my sister wanted back. That is understandable but flipping out on Kay was not. I did not appreciate her cussing and making my daughter cry over a plant that was just across town and not on the other side of the country. I went down stairs and told my sister that she had made my daughter cry and that I felt she is constantly speaking to my kids in tone that was very rude and hurtful. I told her from here on out if she has any problem with the kids she needs to come to me directly. I left out of her room and started to head back upstairs. Before I could reach the steps she comes barreling out of her room yelling and screaming that she did not say any thing to Kay except that she needed to get her grandmother on the phone and tell her to bring the plant back. I reiterated to her it’s not what she said it was her tone, and that she was doing it right now with me. Screaming and cussing which is only going to make us both start arguing. While trying to tell her this her boyfriend comes out from the back room and tried to grab her while telling her to calm down and come back into the room. She immediately turned and began screaming and cussing at him to leave her alone. She pushed him and I could tell she was so irate that she was wanting to fight.  I reached to grab her arm before she hit him and he turned and saw me grab her and he went to grab me. Now she is trying to get him  off me because if he hits my catheter I could bleed out. I am telling her to go upstairs to my room so we can talk. In all the yelling and commotion my daughter, her friend that was visiting, my son and my sister’s boyfriends sister all came to try and see what was going on and break up any fighting. I get my sister to go upstairs and then my sister’s boyfriend begins to start yelling at my son say “You ain’t going to do shit” and making gestures towards my son who literally just came down stairs to see what was going on. I made Dee go back upstairs to his room.  I went into my room with my sister and she was just loosing it. She was screaming and cussing that she did do anything wrong to Kay and that her grandmother knew that wasn’t her plant. I told her to calm down to stop yelling and just calm down. It was not that serious and her turning on her boyfriend caused him to flip out and there was almost a fight between him and my son over nothing. She had been drinking and I could tell nothing I was saying to her was getting through. I tried to explain to her that she needs to realize the bigger picture and that we are all living here together and that it was no problem to get the plant back. She kept going on about how she can’t stay here any longer and she doesn’t care anymore she has to do what is best for her. She left out of my room. My Blood pressure must have done a yo-yo in all the excitement. I got extreme cramping in my stomach felt totally light headed and started seeing spots. These are the same symptoms I experience when I am at dialysis and my blood pressure has dropped too low. I have passed out a few times during these types of symptoms. I began vomiting and was having a hard time catching my breath. I was scared we were going to have to call the ambulance. After about 10 minutes I stopped throwing up and just laid across the bed trying to regain my composure. My sister had gone back down stairs for the whole ordeal. Dee was beside me the whole time holding the waste basket and getting me water and just comforting me rubbing my back and holding my hair back. Kay came back upstairs shortly after to tell me she made an attempt to go to her aunt and apologize. She did not mean to get the entire house in an uproar. My sister told her ” Stay the fu*k away from me. I don’t want to talk to you, and it doesn’t matter because we are leaving on the 1st of the month.” My daughter came back upstairs livid that she had tried to be the bigger person, the 17 was trying to be the bigger person versus the 47 yr old adult. I told her and Dee that I want them to stay away from my sister and to avoid having any contact with her from now on. If she decides to leave it would be a really messed up situation for me and my kids since I am not able to work full time and have not gotten approved for my disability benefits yet. I want to move into a smaller home that I can afford but I am not sure if I can afford anything. We had just come to an agreement that she and her boyfriend and his sister would all pay 450$ a month and I would  cover all the other bills in the house and we would all chip in on food as needed. Now that is suppose to be up in the air again and I am right back to where I was at the beginning of the month worried I may end up homeless before the money finally comes from social security so I can move my kids and myself into something more affordable. I am fine with not having to live with my sister any longer, we have never seen eye to eye on many things. There has always been a certain jealousy from her all my life. I have so many situations where I had an accomplishment and she would either downplay it or try to ignore it all together. On top of the fact that she has not raised any of her 3 children past the age of 8 they are now 29, 26, 21. She is an alcoholic and had been addicted to cocaine since she was 17. I expect this recent flip out was her coming down from a high and everything was a target, even a plant that was dying because no one was watering it. Of course after that experience I am now totally aware that I can not let things get to the point where my adrenaline and blood pressure spike, the crash is very scary. I was praying to not have to go to the hospital because all the hospitals in our area have corona virus patients and I just don’t want to go anywhere that I may contract the virus. I feel like every day I wake up I am having anxiety about what bull crap is coming down the pipe line today. Will there be a new reason for my sister to flip out on my kids, will my job close the store I work at, will we end up homeless. I can not stop coming to work even though I am a high risk person due to my illness, but my job offers no benefits. No paid time off or vacation time. I am not going to worry, I am going to keep getting up everyday and trying to do what I can to make things work until they just don’t anymore. What else can I do. Oh and I am a also thinking about separating from my boyfriend by going into the spare room upstairs, he keeps going out with his friend and I am worried he will get the virus and bring it back to me. He says he is taking this seriously but I do not think he is. I am worried that many people have the virus and do not even know and they are spreading it to so many others. I kind of wish my state would go ahead and declare a shelter in place, so I would not have to go to work and the boyfriend would be even more limited in where he could go. While typing this post the boyfriend called to let me know my sister’s boyfriends sister just spilled the beans and stated she is not sure she can stay there anymore. She stated that my sister was high and she was flipping out on everyone that day. She apparently flipped out on the cashier at Walmart, then flipped out on the boyfriend in Walmart for asking about the cost of an oil change. His sister knows that her brother is high functioning autistic and dealing with him can be frustrating but she is getting pissed with my sister cussing him out over nothing and embarrassing him in public like he is her child. My sister is very toxic and we all have all tried to get her to stop abusing her boyfriend, because at the end of the day he just doesn’t know any better. On top of the huge age difference between him and my sister she is 47 going on 48 he is 25 going on 26. She has made him an alcoholic and addict just like herself. He suffers from really bad seizures and she will still have him drink with her because she doesn’t want to drink and be drunk alone. I expect he will leave her one day soon when he can gather up the will to do it. Its actually very sad to witness the toxic relationship they have, but who am I to judge.