RIP Grandma

Who ever said that bad news tends to come in three’s was WRONG! 

In a matter of 6 days we have had 4 people we know who have passed.  FOUR!  It’s insane.

Yesterday afternoon was the latest bad news we received.  DH’s Grandma passed away.  We were expecting it to come for a little while now.  Actually, we had been told it should have already happened.  But she was toughing it out and hanging on.

A week ago she celebrated her 83rd birthday.  That was a milestone she had set out for herself when she first got the diagnosis back a few months ago.  At times we were unsure if she would actually reach that goal.

A year ago she was diagnosed with cancer in the lymph nodes in her stomach.  They did surgery and said they had removed all of the diseased nodes and she was considered to be a cancer survivor, no further cancer was showing up and she appeared to be in the clear.  But for anyone who has ever dealt with cancer knows that it rarely is just that simple.

Earlier this spring then she was having some issues.  That’s when they discovered she had colon cancer and cancer in one lung.  The Dr did not give a time frame to live then.  She underwent surgery to have a colostomy bag put in and was sent home.  In June her colostomy bag had some issues that landed her back in the hospital.  That’s when they discovered the cancer had spread and was now in both lungs.  At that point the Dr gave her 2-3 months to live. She went to live with her son and daughter-in-law while she recouperated and possibly live out the rest of her days.

In July we made our annual trip over to see her.  She had been having some rough patches leading up to our visit.  They were afraid she may not make it until we actually got there, but she did.  While we were visiting it also happened to be the 30th anniversary of her husand’s passing.  That was a day she had talked about for so long as being the day she would like to pass and be with him.  That day we had a BBQ to celebrate her birthday, and everyone being there.  And she actually wanted to join all of us out on the deck and she sat with us for 2 hours and ate lunch with us!  That was the most time she had spent out of bed in weeks.  Everyone was sure that she may just be preparing to pass that day or very soon after our departure the next day.

Here we are a good 3 weeks later.  On Monday I got an email from my MIL that said Grandma was getting worse and was transitioned into crisis care/death watch by the hospice team on Sunday.  Monday they evaluated her and said that she was getting closer, my MIL said 3-5 days but no one knows where she got her numbers from.  And the talk of when the funeral would be started. 

Well, yesterday was Wednesday, the day that we had heard they figured she would pass and she did.  Around 3:30 I got a call from DH who said he was on his way home from work early.  I hung up with him and sat down to check email and stuff.  Logged on to Facebook and the first thing I notice is my SIL is just posting a status message that her sweet Grandma had just passed, etc.  I could hardly believe it!  Here we had not yet been told of her passing and my SIL was posting on Facebook for all the world to see!  So I quickly checked email and there was nothing there.  Then all of a sudden I got a new message and it was from my MIL telling me Grandma had passed.

A few minutes later DH arrived home.  I got up to meet him at the door and he looked at me and asked what the look was for.  I told him that Grandma had passed, he walked over and hugged me.  A short time after that the phone rang and it was DH’s aunt, the one who has been caring for Grandma.  She wanted to make sure that we had heard the news.  I told her how I found out and she wasn’t to pleased with my SIL for her indescretion when family members hadn’t been told yet.  We talked for well over an hour and it was nice to relive memories and talk about the times leading up to the day.

Later DH tried to call his Mom to find out if she knew when for sure the services would be.  But lo and behold, when he called his Mom wasn’t home….she was at BELLY DANCING CLASS!!!!  She never ceases to amaze me with her stupidity.  Your Mother has just passed, for God’s sake don’t go to belly dancing class.  Ugh.  She was supposed to call us when she got back, but never did. So DH called her and she didn’t know anything, she hadn’t bothered to call anyone yet.  So she called her brother who is making the arrangements and said she would call us back.  Finally at like 10 or later she calls and said it might be Monday but no one was sure, they would know by noon today.

At noon today DH calls home wanting to know if his Mom has let me know anything yet.  I checked, no word yet.  Finally around one or so I get an email that it has now changed to 95% chance of it beign Monday and we had to wait until 2-3 p.m. today to get any more info.  So it’s looking like it will be Monday for the visitation and funeral.  And then Tuesday for the burial.

We knew this was coming, but it sure did hit like a ton of bricks to finally hear that news.  I’m glad she got a chance to see all of us a few weeks back.  I’m glad she got to meet her newest great-grandson and hold him before it was too late.  And I’m really glad we got some nice pics of her holding him as well.  I’m sad that she is no longer with us.  She was the closest thing to almost being my own Grandmother.  She was the first person in DH’s family to open her arms to me with a smile and said "Welcome to the family honey" the first time he took me to her house for a holiday.  And for that she will forever remain special in my heart.

RIP Grandma.  May your days be filled with happiness now that you are reunited with your loving husband and son.