MIL madness

So I just have to get this off my chest first off and then move on.  As I mentioned last week DH’s grandma went in for surgery to have some cancerous masses and some of her colon removed.  This is my MIL’s Mother who just happens to be almost 82 years old.  From the start my MIL seemed so flippant about the whole thing.  When she was telling DH and I on the phone it was "oh and did I tell you Grandma has cancer and is having surgery" as if she was just discussing the weather or something.  Bothered both of us.

The surgery was last Wednesday and my MIL had told us that as soon as she found out how it went she would let us know.  Well, we waited all day long and no word at all from her.  I emailed trying to find out, still no response.  Finally at 9 p.m. (so 10 p.m. for them aka bedtime) I told DH screw it we are calling them to find out what is going on.  He calls, she says "Oh I was just going to look for your number to call you".  WTH?  After 6 years of having this number she STILL doesn’t know it and she calls us almost every week!  And she obvisously doesn’t know how to program her phone or she would n’t have to ‘look it up’ every time she has to call.  Whatever.  But anyway, so she’s like all stupid on the phone and was getting sidetracked because at the very same time we called DH’s sister called on the cell phone so she was torn as to which way to go and tried to immediately pawn us off onto DH’s Dad who had just got home from a week long business trip.  Again, WTH????  But she reluctantly did stay on the line with DH.  But I don’t know how many times he had to ask her how the surgery went with Grandma or how she was doing before we started to get even the smallest idea of what was going on.  It was just so damn frustrating.  But eventually we did find out enough to know that she was indeed still alive and doing ok.  Geez.

So that was last Wednesday night.  We dont hear a single word from them at all over the weekend or anything.  No updates, nothing.  Not even a simple email saying she’s ok or anything.  And like my friend said ‘no news is good news..hopefully’.  But still we’d like to know, ya know?

Last night/early this morning my FIL (note NOT my MIL whose Mother this concerns) emails my DH and his sister saying that Grandma was doing good and as of Sunday was eating her first solid meals since surgery and enjoying it very much and doing well with it.  And that she was going to be going home in the next day or two since she was doing well. 

This afternoon I get an email from my MIL with a simple ‘hi’ in the subject line.  I read it and she says that she and her sister are pitching in money together to buy DH’s aunt who is caring for Grandma a bottle of her favorite beverage, Tequila Rose.  Now for anyone who doesn’t know much about that particular drink it’s not an expensive liquor.  I mean a huge old bottle of it is under $20-25.  And I mean a HUGE old bottle of it.  And my MIL/FIL and her sister/BIL (count it FOUR people) are ‘pitching in’ to buy a bottle of this stuff to give to my AIL (aunt in law) as a ‘thank you’ for, as my MIL puts it "helping out with Mom".  Helping out?!?!?  Are you joking me, she is caring for her 24/7 until she can care for herself and go back home!  But I digress.  And my UIL (Uncle in law) is ordering a special cake for my AIL for when we are all going to be visiting in a few weeks and go out to this special fancy restaurant that they always take us all out to when we visit as a surprise for her as his way of saying thank you for caring for his Mom.  And my MIL, in her never ending infinite wisdom (notice the sarcasm just dripping off that??  lol)  sends this email out to me, my SIL and my other AIL (the sister pitching in for the booze) saying that the rest of the family is to buy gag gifts to give to my AIL for taking care of Grandma.  Are you effing kidding me with that!?!?!?  Seriously, who in their right mind would do such a thing??  My MIL, that’s who.

So tonight when DH got home we were talking and I told him that I got that email from his Mom and he got ticked off.  He said "I hope you told her off" and I said I didn’t becuase I just didn’t figure it would make a difference.  So he said he’ll tell her as much that she’s been a jackass again.  She thinks she’s funny, which she is not.  But she HAS to and I mean HAS to run everyone’s lives and tell them what they are to do and not do.  As if we can’t think for ourselves and figure out that we should do something nice to thank someone for what they have done. 

Seriously, who would buy a GAG gift for someone who opens up their home to their Mom/MIL for an indeterminate amount of time, cooks for, does laundry for, takes to DR appts, orders a hospital bed for, sets up a special room for in their home, etc.  Not to mention that they do everything for her every day anyway before she had the surgery.  They put their lives on hold to an extent to care for her.  Meanwhile my MIL sits 1000+ miles away not having to be bothered with or concerned about what is happening with her Mom because she’s "someone else’s problem. "  Nice, huh?

So next time DH talks to his MOm he said he’s going to tell her to stop being a jackass and being disrespectful.  He said he thought that by giving someone who has done so much fo rsomeone else a gag gift was saying the exact opposite of thank you for your help.  And I have to agree, I think it’s a slap in the face to have done all of that and then get a whole bunch of crap gifts because someone thought it would be funny.  And I for one won[t be a party to that sort  of stupidity. 

My question is what would you give to a person as a "thank you for taking care of Grandma" gift????  I started looking around and browsing online today to try and get ideas but haven’t found anything that jumps out at me yet.  DH said if all else fails we could always send her some really nice flowers or something.  But I thought I would throw it out there and see if any of you have any good ideas or suggestions.  I would be more than glad to hear any and all that you have!  DH’s aunt and uncle are extraordinary people.  And I think they deserve something nice being done for them for a change.

that is all.  Just having my normal MIL rant!