Last Day

 Today is the last day of summer.  Well, not technically, but it is if you are a parent of school aged children.  Tomorrow my oldest son goes back and on Friday the other son goes.

We had back to school night last night.  Got to meet his new teacher, who seems nice.  And she has a student teacher to start off the year.  Reconnected with some of his other resource teachers that he will be seeing again this year.  He seems excited about going back.  He said he likes his new teacher and is excited to learn all sorts of new things.  And he was even more excited when we discovered that over half of his class are old friends of his.  The most exciting was when he discovered his best friend of the past 2 years was in his class yet again!  So he should have a great year.  At least that is my hope for him.

Tomorrow I am taking my 2nd son to orientation at his new school.  I can hardly believe that my little boy is going to be starting 4K this year.  It’s only half days so it’s not that bad.  But I sure will miss having him around.  He’s the sound of my house.  He’s what I hear all day long while he plays and it’s become kind of a comfortable sound knowing where he is and hearing him.  So it will be extremely quiet come Friday.  I’m not sure what to do with that.  He’s my energetic, loud child.  Always on the go, always doing something.  I hope he enjoys school.  I hope he does well.  It’s the first time he’ll be away from home for anything really.  I’m sure he’ll do great once he gets into the routine of things and understands what is expected of him.  And I hope it makes him grow up and mature more as he learns.  Maybe some of the things that we’ve been trying to teach him and get him to understand will sink in better when he’s around other kids who do those things and teachers who encourage him.  Seems sometimes kids listen better to someone else than they do to their own parents when it comes to certain things.  There are days that I still wish he wasn’t going to 4K.  We’ve never done it before, we pulled K out of it before it started because we had heard it was simply just play time, no academics.  But we’ve since found out that’s not it.  I wish at times that he was still going to be home with me for the next year before heading off to Kindergarten next fall.  But then he’ll have a day where he tests my patience and my sanity and I wonder how I ever could hope for him to stay home another year!  lol  Guess I’m just grasping at straws to hold onto their childhood a little longer.

the other day I sat and labeled all of their school supplies and packed them up.  And when I did that it kind of hit me that my time as a stay at home Mom is quickly flying by.  I only have our youngest left at home now with the other two being in school in some fashion or another.  And in a couple of years I will be packing all 3 of them up to send off to school.  Thinking about that now makes me sad inside.  They are such a big part of my every day.  For the past 7 years I have devoted my life, time, my everything to my kids.  And while it’s awesome to see them grow and become their own person and to see who they are grow and flourish, I am sad to let go of those moments shared with them all this time.  It’s hard to believe that the little baby that I used to snuggle in my arms, who made me a Mom for the first time, is quickly becoming as tall as I am.  He crawled up onto my lap today to snuggle with me and it was so crazy to hold someone that is so tall on your lap like you used to when he was a baby.  But I didn’t say no to those snuggles, I am just glad he still likes to do that from time to time with me.  

I feel a little lost at times with them growing up.  Probably sounds silly, but it’s true.  I’m a Mom, always will be.  But that’s been my only job for so long that I don’t know what else to be.  To find what that something is supposed to be over the next few years will be interesting.  I’m not sure I know what I want to be when I grow up yet.  Maybe some day I will figure that out.  But for now, I am just happy to be the Mom my awesome little boys’ need.  And I plan on enjoying every single moment of it, for as long as it lasts.  

But for today, I am enjoying our last day home together because the early mornings start, the homework and the craziness that the school year brings.  And I’m lucky, I have two beautiful boys’  (well 3 but one is just going along for the fun and food!) who asked me to go on a special lunch date with them today.  So shortly we are all heading out to enjoy one last lunch together.  I can’t wait!