Happy birthday in Heaven

 Here we are again, September 23rd has once again rolled around.  On the calendar it’s just another day.  This year it’s the second full day of Fall.  But today would have been your 75th birthday if you’d been here on earth with us.  Sadly, you are not here with us to celebrate but you are once again celebrating your birthday up in Heaven for the 5th year.

Time often seems to go by so quickly.  The kids’ are growing up so fast.  And every day that I look at them I think of how much you would have enjoyed having them around you.  Unfortunately, only one of them remembers you and speaks of you fondly every chance he gets.  He tries to share his memories with his brothers’ so that they too get to know you.  

Normally we would have spent today with you.  Sharing a meal, sharing some laughs, celebrating with you.  Instead, today was spent in quiet calmness.  Memories being shared in muted voices.  Today did not involve a birthday cake all decorated up pretty with candles all aglow.  But I did make an apple crisp.  We even had Cool Whip with it, just not the kind from a can like you used to buy for K when he was little.  Today was not filled with presents for you.  Instead the presents were for us, our memories to share with each other of our time spent with you.

More than anything I wish you were here.  I wish that every day that passes.  It’s been 5 1/2 years since I held your hand as you slipped away.  I remember that day as if it were yesterday.  But I try not to dwell on that memory.  Instead I try to focus on all the happy times with you.  All those moments from my childhood, of standing on the seat next to you on the truck as we drove down the road and suddenly yelling "10-4 Good Buddy!" in your ear just like the truckers did.  😉  Or going with you in winter while you plowed and squealing every time I thought you were getting us stuck in the snow.  The giant snowbanks you used to plow up for me so I would have someplace fun to go sledding.  Going out on the boat on Lake Michigan.  Going to Port Washington every summer in the camper.  Funny how life turns out that I found someone with connections there, so now I get to take my kids’ there every summer.  Who would have known!  Or you sitting out in the freezing cold with Grandma and Mom just to watch me graduate.  Standing proudly beside me on my wedding day.  Sending gifts down with Mom when she came to the hospital when I had Kyle because you weren’t feeling well enough to come visit us.  And sending  a surprise of diamonds for me to wear as I walked across the stage to get my degree because you were undergoing treatment and not well enough to come.  Watching your face light up every time we walked through the door to visit and as you watched Kyle grow.  And your final request of getting to meet your newest grandson that was a mere 3 weeks old when you held him and said good bye.  That is a picture that I will treasure forever, as I know he will too.  I’m sorry you never got to meet my youngest.  But somehow, I think you know who he is and you had a hand in sending him down to us.  And if so, then I am thankful more than anyone will know.  I know that you are not truly gone from our lives.  I’ve always felt your presence in the moments when I needed you most.  And I have learned over the past few years that you are with Kyle as well.  He often spoke of someone sitting up on the top of his bookshelf in his room at night watching over him as he slept.  But he described it as a peaceful presence, and he was never afraid.  I believe that it was you watching over him.  If so, then I am thankful for that too because it helped him be at peace.

Well, it’s a couple of minutes before midnight which means that your birthday is almost over for another year.  Today may be over with, but our memories of you will never end.  I hope that where ever you are today that you were showered in the kind of day that you deserve.  I miss you, but I am glad you are no longer in pain.  Just wish you could still be with us here in person instead of just in our hearts and memories.  

Happy birthday in Heaven.  May today have been as peaceful as it should have been.  And may you continue to rest in peace.  We love you more than anyone can understand and we miss you more than you could have ever imagined.  

With all our hearts, we love you and miss you…..