Days of old

There are just some things in this life that I will never truly understand.  One of those things is my family.  My extended family I guess that would be. 

Today we heard some news through a close family friend about my Mom’s brother.  Out of 5 kids it is only the two of them left.  And you would think that given that they would be close, but alas that is not the case.  Not that it wasn’t the case becuase growing up I remember that our whole family was very close.  Huge parties at Christmas where every single person was there, just good times.

But something happened a few years ago that changed how that is.  Actually it’s been more than a few years, it’s been more like 16 years now.  I won’t go into details on it because its kind of like beating a dead horse after all these years.  And although, at the time, it sure seemed to be of HUGE importance to some of my aunts and uncles I don’t think it really ever should have been.  Things got blown out of proportion, feelings got hurt, and family bonds were forever broken.  Well, I shouldn’t say forever.  One uncle did come and make amends with my grandma on her death bed, which was a huge step.  And a good thing too, becuase he died a year later.

To this day neither my Mom nor I know what the big deal is with her brother.  They don’t talk about it, they won’t talk about it, it’s just a black cloud that hangs over their heads.  My cousins and I have tried to figure it out but have pretty much given up on ever understanding it.  We are still close but that’s about it.

A few years ago my other aunt and her husband were killed in a car accident.  And all of a sudden all of those dark feelings came back to light.  Names were called, people were talked down to, arguments ensued, you name it.  To the point that the estate attorney wouldn’t allow family members to be in the same place at the same time becuase they kept attacking my Mom and bringing up stupid crap that never happened, etc.  It was rather sad and pathetic to be honest.

Now I have never done anything to any of these people.  I was not involved in either of the two incidents that created the black cloud over the family.  But since I am my Mother’s daughter I became horrible by association.  To the point where my uncle said some pretty nasty things about me and called me all sorts of names,etc.  But I tried not to let that get between us though.  I still send them a card at Christmas and all that sort of thing just to try and keep those lines open, but they don’t reciprocate anymore.

But that’s all history.  And there isn’t much that can be done about it really.

Today though my Mom was at breakfast with a bunch of close friends.  And apparently he heard some news from my ex-aunts husband.  Confused yet?  lol  Apparently my uncle has been going down hill pretty quickly.  He’s been putting pots and pans on the stove and turning on the burners and then wandering off and leaving empty pots on the hot burners.  He tried to back his truck out of the garage and apparently scraped/smashed up the whole side, continued on with his business.  And then later, when he was obviously more lucid, was pissed about it and wanted to know who smashed up his truck because he didn’;t remember doing it.  I guess there is other stuff too but those are the ones we heard about.

I mean, yes, he is like 67 or somewhere abouts.  But that isn’t exactly old.  And this is the first word we’ve ever heard about any of this.  No body says a thing to anyone.  And the sad thing?  They live on the piece of land on the back part of my Mom’s farm.  They drive past my Mom’s house every day and they never stop or call or anything.  The last time we saw them was last August and then they wouldnt’ even say Hi to us.  My Mom saw them a week ago and they ignored her like she had the plague.  It’s just petty an stupid behavior, IMO.  But whatcha gonna do??

It’s kind of shocking news.  If it’s really true, then it’s not a good thing.  If it’s getting blown out of proportion but still something that is happening its still not good.  But it’s just sad that we have to hear things like that from strangers instead of our own family, ya know?  So now i’m anxious to talk to my cousin and see what’s going on. 

I guess for me it’s just a scary thought.  I lost my oldest uncle before I was born, he was only in his 30’s.  My 2nd uncle passed away when he was like 60, the uncle who is supposedly sick right now is my 3rd uncle, then there’s my Mom who will be 63 in a couple of weeks, and her little sister died when she was 53.  Kind of a smack in the face with reality, or mortality I guess is a better way to say it.   

It’s times like this when you hear these types of things taking place amongst your family that makes you reminiscent.  it just brings back all those memories from my childhood of the huge family gatherings, the regular visits to my aunts and uncles houses just to stay in touch, the mischief that my cousins and I got into as kids that still makes us laugh to this day.  The simpler times, the more fun times.  Those times are gone.  As are most of the people that used to be a part of that. 

Life goes on I guess.