New Start

I’ve been up most of the night..  Yes, I’m interested in the election.  I’ve checked MSNBC and CNN several times but nothing has really happened.  But I’m not nerved up and bothered by it.  It’s not what’s keeping me awake.

Thinking a lot about my move.  Can it really be happening in 11 days?  Oh My God.  So much to do.  It’s amazing how much stuff you can put in a one bedroom apartment in 13 years.  Where I’m going is a lot smaller so I’m giving away a lot.  There’s some furniture I could sell, but it’s such a hassle.  I’d rather drag it all to the curb and stick a free sign on it.  Shane spent a few hours going through a few of his boxes, but so far that’s all he’s done.  He works all day though, and I do not.  Not because we are wealthy haha, I am disabled.  Long story for another time.
Our move is very unusual.  We have been together for 15 years, living together.  Very happily.  Although not married.  He doesn’t want that.  Since I have mobility issues and walk with a cane (and it’s getting slowly worse) living on the second floor, dealing with the stairs, is getting to be hazardous.  So I applied and have been accepted to live in a first floor low income handicapped equipped apartment.  But ……. Shane’s income is too high to live there with me.  (All kinds of boring reasons for this, HUD/PAC regulations, etc). The rent is based on my income.  It’s going to be insanely low.  Most 1 bedroom apts in this crazy expensive town are $2,000 to $2,500 a month.  My rent is going to be around $450 a month.  That’s pretty hard to pass up.  Plus, it’s assurance that I’ll have a home

in 10-20 years, when I will need a handicapped place even more.  Who knows what will happen in the future, but I have to look out for myself.  Shane and I are not married.

we aren’t breaking up, just living apart.  He will stay with me as much as he can.  But the home we built together will be no more.  Now that it’s really happening, it’s kinda heartbreaking.  He’s going to room with a friend till he figures out where to go.
so I’m full of happy thoughts of a fresh start in a place of my own, and sad thoughts of not living with my Honey, wondering what this will do to our relationship.
Ugh, I’m gonna be worthless today from no sleep.  Going to try and get a few hours now.  Have a great Thursday!