I Made Out With My Tattoo Artist.

So ever since I went to see Troy, he’s only messaged me a couple times, and it was just like, “how are you?” and small chit chat.  It only happened a couple times, and it think it was honestly so it wouldn’t completely seem like he was blowing me off.  But yeah, he is.  I still don’t understand what happened.  But I do know, it’s like the 3rd time he’s hurt me, and I can’t believe I let it happen again.  He fucked me over 4 years ago, and I should know by now that people really don’t change.  There’s something off about him.  I think maybe he’s a super jerk, but he’s just really good at hiding it.  He has a way with words that makes him not seem like a jerk, but his actions say otherwise.  That’s what it is.  His actions never match his words, and boy does he have a way with words.

I hadn’t heard from him in almost a week, and I saw there were shootings in Louisville, and I got freaked out and messaged him to make sure he was okay.  He was.  He was polite, but said he was going through stuff and made the conversation short.  It’s always something.  I’m getting to the point where I just fucking hate him.  I have so much I want to say to him, but I know if I said the things I think he should hear, it would most likely end our friendship.  Maybe I should.  It doesn’t seem like we ever had a real friendship.  It’s always so easy for him to drop me once he’s used me for whatever he needs from me.  I’m thinking of just writing him an email telling him what a shit person he is, because maybe he needs to fucking hear how his actions affect people.

Anyway, trying to move on from that.  So, several weeks ago, before I even went to see Troy, I went to get a tattoo.  I’ve been wanting to get another one for years, and I couldn’t when I was with the narcissist, because he kept blowing all my money.  Also, he would have probably been jealous of anyone who touched my body for more than 5 minutes.  But yeah, a few weeks ago I went and got a tattoo of a blue rose with the word free.  When I went to get my tattoo done, it was a guy I used to go to school with.  I never actually knew him, but I knew OF him.  His name is Otha.  As soon as we started talking, we had this kind of chemistry… we like a lot of the same things.  His whole shop is decorated and creepy shit.  I told him I loved it and we both talked about how we’re obsessed with Halloween and creepy shit.  We both love Harry Potter.  We both have the same fucked up offensive sense of humor.  Seriously, we talked and laughed the whole time.  And there were moments, when I THOUGHT he might be flirting with me, but I wasn’t sure.  I looked like complete shit that day, so I thought there was no way he was really flirting with me.  After I got done, he even gave me his phone number, which I actually lost, but it didn’t matter, because he was still on my FB messenger.

So a few weeks went by, and that whole shit happened with Troy.  In the back of my mind, I kept thinking about Otha.  So, I had the extra money, and I decided to message him to get another tattoo.  I do want a lot of tattoos, so seeing him wasn’t the only reason I did it.  But part of the reason was to test out and see if he really was flirting with me last time, or if I had just imagined it.  I’m not going to lie, I did go more out of my way to look good this time.  lol.

So when I got there, him and the other tattoo artist were there.  It’s some chick named Rhonda.  He told me before that Rhonda has a thing for him and is obsessed with him.  He doesn’t want to be with her though, but she still acts like they are together, and tries to control him and gets super jealous of any girl he talks to.  She threated to kill herself a few times so he would change his mind.  So yeah, she was there.  And he was drawing up my tattoo before he actually did it, and she was just hanging around.  He was like, “Didn’t you say you were going to leave?” She was like, “Yeah, I guess.”  So she finally did leave, which meant him and I were alone for the rest of the night.  I was the last client he had before the shop closed.

So he got started on my tattoo, and almost right away, he started hinting at things.  He kept saying, “Yeah, no client except some 60 year old women has ever hit on me.”  I was like, “I don’t believe that, you’re so cute.”  And he kept saying that.  Like he brought it up several times in the conversation.  and we did talk about sex a few times.  And when he circled the conversation back again, I was like, “Maybe they do want to fuck you, they’re just afraid to say it because they’re a client.”  he was like, “If they did want to fuck me, they shouldn’t feel uncomfortable telling me.  I don’t mind.”  So finally I was like, “I’ll admit it, I’d fuck you.”  He was like, “But why?”  I told him because he was sweet and cute and actually intelligent.  And was like, “Well, just so you know, I’d fuck you too.”  So there was lots more flirting.  And we also talked about personal things, joked about shit.  It was really fun.

At one point Rhonda came back in the shop.  Otha was like, “Why are you just popping back in?  You usually text.”  She made some lame ass excuse and hung around for about 15 minutes before he was like, “Why are you still here?”  And she left again.  He told me he was willing to bet money she popped in to see if she could catch us fucking or something.

So he finished my tattoo, then he showed me his guitars he had around the shop and played some for me.  Then he started cleaning up. he kept saying he thought it was possible Rhonda might some back just to check on us.   Just as we were about to walk into the lobby area, he was like, “I’m going to show you something.  It’s about to get dark…”  He turned out the lights and closed the door to the lobby.   Hevwas showing me all his glow in the dark stuff, which was awesome.   Then he got close to me and asked for a hug.   Which, I obliged.  It not just a hug.  It was a long hug with a lot if touching, which then escalated to full on making out.  Lol.   After that happened I paid and he got my phone number.   We then walked outside and hugged again.   He told me to message him, and I said I would.  He said, “Seriously, you can blow up my phone.  I don’t care.”

So yeah…..I made out with my tattoo artist.   Lmao.   I messaged him a little yesterday and today, but honestly, he hasn’t given much more than short answers to me.  I asked if he wanted to hang out sometime.  He said he would love to, so I said to just let me know when he’s free and he hasn’t said anything else.   So…..maybe it was nothing.   I thought he was really into me, but I don’t know.   Maybe not.

Or the most optimistic scenario is, he’s the opposite of Troy, and he’s a man of few words when texting, but actually takes action.  Like I said…most optimistic scenario, because just going by the short answers in his texts, he doesn’t seem that interested.   I don’t know anything anymore.  And I certainly don’t understand people like I thought.

Another thing…it has seemed like guys I actually do like never like me back.  And what is so devastating is when you’re waiting for a text from a specific person, but you keep getting messages from garbage creeps instead.   It’s like adding insult to injury…like the universe is just mocking me in the most cruel way.  I’m j7st so tired of being hurt and used.   I wish I knew what was so wrong with me that decent dudes just want nothing to do with me, but I keep attracting narcissists, creeps, and morons who can’t even spell.   Fuck. Me.