Birthday Tattoo

Just wanted to hop on here and do a little update.  Um, so Troy sent me a black cat pillow as a “Halloween present.”  I messaged him that night to thank him and I kept our conversation short.  I still don’t really know why he did it.  I don’t really consider him a friend anymore.  But anyway, I had my birthday.  My friend Lora invited me over and she asked my brother and his wife to come.  When I asked his wife if they were coming, she said she’d think about it, but then a few hours later she said, “We can’t.  Sorry.”  No explanation.  I understand not wanting to go out or something, but if it was one of their birthdays, I would have gone, whether I wanted to or not.  And they didn’t even have anything to do that night.  They just didn’t go.  It kind of hurt my feelings.  But I went to Lora’s and my friend Trent stopped by for a couple of hours.  We had drinks and talked and played rock band.  It was fun.

My actual birthday was Tuesday, so I took that day and the next day off.  I had scheduled to get a tattoo with Otha, because I’ve been wanting to get a tattoo on my birthday for years.  I couldn’t do it when I was with my ex.  He never let me do anything.  So, yeah.  I went to see Otha Tuesday.  I hoped Rhonda wouldn’t be there, but she was.  Oh, well.  Not a big deal.  She was much nicer to me this time, and she wasn’t hovering over me and Otha like she was the last time.  But right when he was about to start my tattoo, he asked her to go get him something to drink from the gas station.  It was so funny because we both literally watched her walk out the door, and as soon as the fucking door closed, we basically jumped on each other.  LOL.  We messed around as best we could within our fucking 5-minute time frame.  Basically 5-minute sex.  LOL  Afterward he was like, “One day, we won’t have to rush around like this.  I’d like to do this properly.”  Then he said he had to go ahead and get started on me because if she came back and he hadn’t done anything at all, she would get suspicious.  So yeah, anyway, she did come back and he got started.  We had several whispered conversations so she couldn’t hear us.  He said something like, “I feel really bad we haven’t had good sex yet that wasn’t rushed.”  I was like, “Well, we text a lot, but you never really ask to get together or anything.”  And he was like, “I’m never going to text you and ask for a booty call.  I don’t think of you that way.  I actually care about you and respect you.”  It was shocking to me, because anybody else I’ve ever fucked around with wouldn’t care to hit me up just for a fuck.  I’ve always just felt used in that way.  So when he said that, it was so nice to hear.  I was like, “Yeah, I haven’t asked you to either because I’ve felt the same way.  And I don’t even know if you have any free days.”  He said, “Sundays.  You can message me on Sundays and just say you need a ‘touch up.”  Just in case Rhonda sees my phone or something.”  Then we got on the subject of hooking up and he said something like, “I never just hook up with anyone just because.  I have to actually like the person or have a connection with them to be able to have sex with them.”  Which is exactly what I was telling my friend Lora about myself the other night.  I was like, “Yeah, I’m the exact same way.  I’ve tried to be a hoe, but my body physically could not do it.  I just couldn’t.”  And then he started saying again that he really wanted to have decent sex with me that wasn’t rushed and he said, “I’m not even concerned with myself, I just want to satisfy you.”  So yeah, before that night I had kind of convinced myself maybe I was just some random chick he wanted to hook up with, but from a lot of the things he was saying, he made it sound like he actually really liked me.  When he was almost finished with my tattoo, he was like, “I need to get you out of here before 7 when my next client comes it because it’s this dude, I think you two would get along, but I don’t want you to fall in love with him, so I’m trying to get this done.”  LOL.  And before I did leave, Rhonda was in the lobby, so he pulled me in the corner where she couldn’t see us and he kissed me.  So yeah, good birthday.  Best birthday I’ve had in years.  😀

A year ago, I was fucking miserable with my ex.  I remember I spent that birthday drunk and sad.  I didn’t think anyone cared about me.  I even cut myself that night because I hated myself and I wanted to die.  A year later, and I’m free of him.  I’ve gotten much healthier physically and mentally.  I look way hotter.  I’ve got to see old friends I couldn’t see when I was with him.  I’ve met some new awesome people.  If a year ago you had told me how much better that birthday would have been, I might not have believed you.  I am just trying to enjoy each moment that I can.  I am so much better off without a narcissistic douche weighing me down.