10/18/2023

Ignore the spelling and grammar.  Just trying to get all this out.  So much happened this past weekend.  I don’t want to get into it all.  My brother got married.  I had severe social anxiety at his wedding.  Other bad shit happened after that.  I didn’t go to the after party because I was so worn out and anxious.  And my friend Lora didn’t show up.  Which shouldn’t have been a fucking surprise.  It was just kind of a bad night.  The ceremony was nice, but everything else was a shit-storm.  Friday the 13th definitely lived up to its name.  I did go in to get a Friday the 13th tattoo (they do specials on that day… a tattoo that only takes 30 minutes for 30 bucks.  I couldn’t pass on that deal).  Of course Rhonda was there.  I expected that.  But she kept saying shit again, making it seem like her an Otha are together… they aren’t.  I know she was doing it on purpose.  But Otha and I still groped each other when she wasn’t looking.  LOL.  And when I went to leave, we were in the lobby and he kissed me.

I came back the next day because I had made an appointment a few weeks ago.  Again, Rhonda kept saying shit to make it seem like they were together.  And she kept hovering over us.  It took Otha almost 6 hours to do my tattoo, so she had a couple different clients in that time span.  So when she had a break, she literally came over and stood over us.  It was weird and awkward.  So obviously again… Otha and I couldn’t do much besides grope each other when she wasn’t looking.  lol.  But in that time I was there, we were able to talk more than we have before.  And we talked about a lot of personal things.  He opened up to me about a lot of traumatic shit he went through, and I did the same with him.   I mentioned I was awkward and weird and  he said he was the same way.  I was like, “But you don’t seem awkward.  It seems like you’re really good at talking to people.”  He was like, “Yeah, I can talk to people all day.  But I’m not good at making actual friends.”  So I was like, “I’ll be your friend.”  I felt like it kind of made us closer.  Because at the end of the night I went to pay for my tattoo, he was like, “I’m not going to charge you want I normally charge everyone.”  Usually a tattoo that big that takes that long is about $400.  He only charged me $120!!!  There were other people in the lobby even waiting and listening to us.  And he came around to hug me, and he pulled me back behind their desk so the people couldn’t see what we were doing and we groped some more.  And he seemed like he was about to kiss me, but realized he couldn’t because Rhoda might see, or someone else might see and say something in front of Rhonda.  Then as I was leaving he called me babe, which he has never done and he said, “Hey, please hit me up anytime.  Seriously.  All I do is work, I’m always here, I’d love to hear from you.”

So the past few days, we’ve been texting.  And before when we’d message each other, his responses were pretty short.  Not rude or anything, just not that engaging.  But now, his responses are more substantial, and we have actual full conversations.  Lots of flirting.  I’m happy that our relationship has progressed to a real friendship more than anything.  He is so similar to me and has gone through so much shit, it makes me like him more.  He’s so sweet and such a kind, caring person.  I don’t know if it will turn into more.  I’m just enjoying any time I have with him right now.