insensitive?

Journal,

I feel awful. Arjun emailed me, but I didn’t even read it. I feel so insensitive—and relieved. My fault was that I made too many false promises, which is where my guilt manifested. Why did I tell him I would date him? I felt terrible for him, and he reminded me of home. I apparently feel a lot. My intuition was screaming at me; it would not shut up. Anxiety washes over me like waves when I think of him.

On another note, I absolutely disregarded my promise. A random guy from Facebook befriended me, and we started messaging. He has a job and is in school. I am concerned about my avoidance; of course, I am, but I also want to live life without fear. This weekend, we are going to see Beetlejuice; however, you spell it, and I was going to go anyway. I am like a bundle of excuses right now. Hopefully, I will work on some of these apparent issues. I have therapy tomorrow morning. Wish me luck!

Love,

Amanda