Verbal Abuse is Abuse

Verbal Abuse is not okay.  It’s not okay to call someone stupid, fat, ugly, selfish, a cunt, dumb, a hussy, a fluesey, etc…  It’s just not right.  Those are the words my husband had called me on a daily basis.

I would cry because my feelings have been hurt so bad, and he would tell me to stop acting like a baby.  Crying is for babies…

I would not respond that I loved him back, and I was in a world of shit.  I would be in trouble if I didn’t text him first thing in the morning when I got to that I loved him, I would get in trouble because I ran out of time getting errands done before I had to go to work and didn’t get the rest done.

I was called lazy because the house wasn’t cleaned in a pristine condition.  I was in trouble for not dishing up his plate first.  I was a bad mom for not giving our child a bath every single night.  I was also a piece of shit when I’m sick in bed with a fever and I called into work, and tell me I had no work ethic.

I’m a survivor… I left his ass… I knew I was better than that.  I was a good Mom, a friend, and a lover.  I was a hard working Mom that works two jobs due to his compulsive buying of expensive things.  I made Christmas happen every year for the kids.

I’m not fat… I’m very thing, 5’7 130 pounds.  I’m not ugly, I have guys giving me attention all the time, I’m not stupid… Actually pretty smart…  I work well at my job, people love my attitude, and they just love the way I carry myself.  I am not a whore, I had no intentions cheating on my husband (which I should have but I have morals LOL).

We have separated, I am so much happier now… I can think for myself, I can work at my own pace, I get things done, we have split custody of our 4 year old girl.  He is a great Dad to her, but he just has some serious issues.  He has been seeking self help guidance with his phycologist, and it seems that he has improved 95% with the right medications, and counseling sessions.  But I’m not going back.  I can’t.  I don’t love him anymore.  It may seem harsh, but I don’t.  He broke my heart on several occasions, I literally became numb.

I can see my family with out guilt hanging over my shoulders.  I can go on business trips and not get called 20 times a day with him asking what I was doing and who I was with whether they were a guy or a girl?  Really???

He took all of his insecurities and pushed them out onto me.  I regret marrying him.  I never thought it would get that bad.

But I’m happier…  I just want to be happy.  I have no interest in any men, I just want to do my thing and live my life and raise my kids.  That’s all I want to do.  Bust ass, work hard, and be a good Mom.