First or only? TBD

It’s late and I’m tired but there’s a silent scream building in me that wants relief I don’t know how to find. I’m a local, not a tourist, when it comes to depression. I’m here all year round.

To no ones surprise, I shut down today. I shut down and shut out the person who loves me so fully and unconditionally. I dismissed every attempt made to comfort me. “I don’t deserve anything.” I told him. I know the thing I fear most is that he’ll see me like I see me.

I’m so tired. Tomorrows a new day or some other vaguely positive mumbo jumbo, I guess.

-k