“Her”

As I sit here writing this, the sense of vulnerability I feel is disregarded because at the same time there is a peace in opening up about my heartache. When I speak about “her”, I speak because there have been many sleepless nights where I have tossed and turned, staring at my ceiling in the dark, wondering and wishing, if I can see “her” again. It’s been almost a year, since we parted ways, and I still can’t get over the fact that I lost you because of some foolish mistake. Cliche as this story may sound, life is full of lessons, I just wished we worked it out when I learned this one, unfortunately the hard way where losing you was the lesson. Learning to forgive myself, and learning  to love myself has been an ongoing journey, the only real thing missing is…”her”. Distraction upon distraction, attempts to make myself wholesome again, seem to be temporary highs. As grateful as I am for every other blessing I have in my life, it means nothing without “her”. Life goes on indefinitely, but when I think of you, time stands still in my heart and mind, from the moments which we shared. If only you knew how deep my love for you still exists, but sadly I don’t think you even care. So here I am, as another day passes by, tired, alone, aimlessly pushing forward through another long day, trying to live my life, knowing you’re out there, wishing you were thinking about me, even for a moment. I miss you. I miss you more than anything.