1/29/18

My evenings and weekends are full of ‘catching up’, driving kids to after school activities, cleaning, etc. I really never have a day off, and that is okay, because if I sit for too long, my brain goes places I wish it wouldn’t.Most days are usually spent in a quiet office.

After I separated from my husband in August of 2016, I have had horrible anxiety. My panic disorder was getting pretty bad during the end of our marriage, but in the months after that, I pretty much went into breakdown mode. I took numerous ambulance rides to the ER thinking I was dying. I have tried different medications to try help, saw counselors, and now I am pretty much back to ‘normal’. I have bad heart palpitations and extra beats which used to send me into panic attack mode- now I can breath through them. I am still getting anxiety and panic, usually at night time- waking up in the middle of the night. Thankful for Ativan.

My marriage was not healthy. It started out great, ended horrible.

I realized when it was all said and done, just how damaged I was (and am) and how much being in that environment tool a toll on my mental (and physical) health.

Still haven’t heard anything about my old diary ????