No Orlando

Bummer. Phil was all "Whatever, you only care for selfish reasons". Well, yeah, sorry I don’t have a lot invested in your father’s career. Of course it’s a bummer for his dad, I know he has applied for a few VP positions without success. But yes I also want to go to Disney. Disneyyyyyyyy. Oh well, some day.

So sort of related, I’m like obsessed with whether or not we should have another kid. As someone else put it Sam is still "barely dry from the womb" and no decisions have to be made now, but part of me really feels this is it and I’m a little sad about it. I always wanted a big family, we’re talking 4-5 kids. But I don’t know if I have it in me to do all over again – the newborn fussiness, the neediness of breastfeeding, the being hugely pregnant and chasing a toddler, it’s tough man. The whole time I was pregnant with Sam I had no intention of it being my last so I feel like I didn’t linger and enjoy it where I could have. Also, being close to my sister, I feel sad Riley will never have the chance to experience that (though there’s no guarantee a 3rd would be a girl). Obviously things could change, but I hate feeling like we’re done even though the thought of another is daunting. Phil keeps reminding me the sooner we’re done having kids the sooner we can go to Disney (hence the tie in). Yes DEAR I know you only wanted 2 to begin with, now is not the time to play mind games.

To clarify, he knew I wanted a brood, he only wanted 2, but we compromised on at least 3 depending on how things went and if I still wanted more. It’s not like I married him agreeing to only 2 and expected him to change his mind.

Whatevs, my kid is 2 months old, we have a ways to go before we have to seriously think about anything. He’s definitely a quit while you’re ahead kind of babe, though, occasional screamy gas fits aside (my fault today, I had Mexican last night). He also pukes like, I don’t know. Something that pukes a lot, but Riley was the same way. I don’t know if I have excessive milk or if my kids just chug too much but they somehow manage to regurgitate half of what they eat while still packing on the pounds. We’ve recently discovered he’s a swing baby, which makes life amazing. Kid starts crying – oh, he’s tired – put him in the swing in a swaddle and in about 5 mins he’s out cold. I move him after 20 mins or so and he naps usually at least an hour. In the afternoon it’s more like 3. Riley hated that thing, we used it about twice, so nice to get some use out of it now.

We’ve had a fairly busy week, which is always nice. Monday I think we just ran errands, I don’t really remember. Maybe we did nothing at all, that’s always a possibility. Tuesday we had our usual playgroup, Wednesday was mall walking and then shopping with some friends, Thursday my mom and sister came to visit and I made cookies, and today we had Riley’s BFF over for a play date. Her and Sam were so good this morning I was able to clean a lot of the house before they got here. I finally went ahead and ordered Turbo Fire (I’ve always wanted Turbo Jam and this is a step up) so I started those workouts this week. Since I’m a fatty fat I started with the prep program. The prep is NINE WEEKS. Yeah. That’s how I knew they weren’t messing around and I should probably start slow. I haven’t lost anything in awhile, I’m only 15 lbs down from my delivery weight, so depressing. I won’t lose anything for awhile yet, either, as I’m eating to maintain my current weight and hopefully keep my milk supply strong while my body adjusts to an intense workout program. Just have to keep telling myself being able to feed my baby is most important and I have years to do what I need to for my body after. Hard when you hate what you see in the mirror, though!

I went out last night for a friend’s birthday, that was fun. We got toasty and talked about our defiant children (all around the age of 2) and "helpless" husbands. Oh and the fact that we never see old friends any longer, which is so true. I have a totally different circle of people I hang out with now, almost every single one I met after having Riley. Funny how life events seem to draw that line in the sand and people drift away. At least we seem to have cycled through the major ones so maybe my mommy friends will stay around awhile 🙂 Next outing is Magic Mike! And yes I’m still overly excited about this.

I can’t believe I go back to work soon, ughhhhhhh. On the one hand the break is nice, but on the other hand it kills my weekends. Though now that Riley doesn’t nap until 1 PM we can at least do something in the morning. If I don’t sleep in too late.

Everything has made me cry today. I’m watching the end of Titanic right now and the little kids and the old couple always make me cry. I read a woman’s story on the boards about her 19 month old passing away and sobbed. I cried this afternoon when they interrupted my soap to report a 2 year old was hit by a truck downtown (he’s stable as of right now). It’s always sad to begin with when you hear those types of stories, but since actually having my own kids I can’t stand it at all. I’m also super tired after being up until 1 last night force feeding Sam a bottle Phil heated, but couldn’t get him to take (I wasn’t wasting those 4 oz!) That doesn’t help.

I was going to post some pics, but it’s 11 and I’m tired. Another time 🙂