The One & Other Things
This is from Thursday, Dec. 19
Well this is my first prosebox entry. OD has been down for days now and I’m worried it will never come back. I should have saved my entries somewhere! =( I don’t really feel like writing out an introduction, just wanted to update.
I’m still hanging out with Zach. I guess we have been seeing each other for about 3 weeks now and I seriously couldn’t be happier. He treats me amazingly well, remembers everything we talk about and all the little silly things about me like what I like and dislike to eat. We’ve been spending tons of time together, but I love it! It’s nice to finally have someone who wants to be around me as much as I want to be around him. I never wonder "Does he like me?" "Why isn’t he calling?" and all those other lame questions I’ve had with any other guy I’ve been interested in. We talk every day and have probably seen each other around 4-5 times a week. I stayed at his house the past 2 weekends, but we still haven’t had sex…which is good! =) He gives me compliments all the time and being snuggled up on the couch with him is the best feeling in the world. =D I honestly think he might be THE ONE which is really scary and I don’t know if it’s normal to feel that way right away but I just can’t even explain it. I haven’t ever felt this comfortable and relaxed with anyone since Nick and it’s great. I’m not even worried about messing things up because for once in my life I am calm and relaxed about everything. I have told nobody, not even Grace, that I feel this way because I don’t want anyone to laugh at me or think I’m ridiculous! He went out with his friends on Sunday and usually I might have been upset that I wasn’t invited (I know, I was THAT girl) but now it was just like oh that’s cool I hope you’re having fun and I did my own thing. =) I guess that’s just because I know he’s not going anywhere and I can tell he feels the same way about me as I do him. =D This Friday we are probably going to his work Xmas party and then hanging out with Grace and her bf. Saturday we are going to his friends Christmas party. =) I am truly happy with him. We haven’t even made things official yet, as in he hasn’t asked me to be his GF and we haven’t updated FB (Isn’t it silly how important and scary it is to do that? Such a big step I feel…something we never had to worry about pre-FB days!) but obviously neither one of us is seeing anyone else as we spend all of our time together. =P I like the fact that we don’t have a title or anything yet, we are more just figuring each other out right now. =)
So last Saturday I went out for dinner and drinks with Zach and one of his friends. We went to the bar afterwards and I texted Grace to see what she was doing after work that night. She told me she was going to our friend Stephanie’s. I didn’t think much of it. Stephanie and I used to be much better friends and that’s actually how I even know Grace, but a lot of things happened that made me feel weird around her. She’s married to a much younger guy now and we don’t really see her that often. Her and her cousin Summar who we also hang out with tend to be very loud when they are together and sometimes it overwhelms me and makes me feel left out because I’m a very quiet person. So usually I don’t come around when they are all hanging out. Anyway, the next day I see on facebook tons of pictures that Stephanie posted of her "ugly sweater party" in which Grace & her bf, our friend Clyde, Summar and her bf, and a few other people were all invited. I wasn’t really sad that I wasn’t invited because I get why and I probably wouldn’t have went anyway, but it really hurt my feelings that Grace never said anything to me about it. I felt like she was trying to hide it from me! Normally if she goes to a party at Stephanie’s she tells me about it…but oh well. I still kind of feel hurt, but I decided it wasn’t really worth arguing about or even saying anything about so I just kinda let it go. It does suck to feel left out though, even when it’s by people you don’t really want to hang out with. =/ Next Monday me, Grace, Zach and Nate (Grace’s bf) are going to the Botanical Gardens to see the light display and then after the holidays I think we are going to go on a double date, so that’s cool. =)
The other thing I kind of wanted to write about was my friend Mallory. We have been friends for a long time, but she lives about an hour away from me so I don’t see her too much. She’s married (I was the maid of honor in her wedding) and has a 3 year old son. She’s always been kind of depressed and her dad committed suicide awhile back, so unfortunately I guess it sort of runs in her family. Ever since she had her son though it’s gotten MUCH MUCH worse. She has taken tons of different meds for it but as far as I know she doesn’t go to counseling or anything. She’s very negative about everything and really down on herself. It makes me sad that she doesn’t want to better herself for her son, but there’s nothing I can really do. Last week her close friend passed away. She was 93 and Mallory always took care of her and her cats and helped her do things. Mallory was understandably really upset and she has to find homes for the woman’s cats and she’s upset about that too. I texted her every day asking if she was okay, offered to call her numerous times, and asked her if I could come visit this Friday. She said she has to work Friday night and so I asked what about next weekend and she said, well I’m "On call" on the weekends…she works as a cleaner at a Dr.’s office….how can you be "on call" for that? It kind of seems like she is just pushing me away and I don’t know what to do. My feelings are hurt by it but I know that’s selfish of me. I got her a sympathy card but I haven’t mailed it yet…I need to but I just don’t even know how she would feel about it. I want to be there for her, but like I said, there is nothing I can do. She has to want to fix and help herself. It makes me sad. =(
I think that’s about all I have for today.
Today is the last day I’m working OT until January. 3 weeks in a row of 12 hour days (plus 2 hours in the car) is taking it’s toll on me.
Can’t wait to have a fun weekend with Zach <3
Also celebrating Xmas with my dad’s side on Sunday so it will be fun to have some family time. =)