10/25/2013

Once again I left this for so long I don’t even know where to start!!! Not that much has happened, but still.

What’s on my mind right now issssss Alex. I haven’t heard from him much really. I invited him out to Grace’s bonfire last weekend but I didn’t think he would come since it’s such a far drive for him. He didn’t. I didn’t hear from him at all after that but then my friend Jaclyn asked me to get some party favors from him for this weekend. So I had an excuse to hit him up! =P I texted him on Wed. about it and he said come by whenever in the evening so I told him I’d come Thursday after work. I got off yesterday and he text me saying he was stuck in traffic so I waited a bit and then headed over. He said he was in the shower so just to come in the back door. I went in and played with his dog while I waited for him. When he got out of the shower he asked me how my day was which I thought was really sweet! It’s so weird because every time I’ve been around him things just feel so normal and natural. I can’t really explain it but our conversation flows very easily and I feel like he trusts me. I trust him too which is unusual. Last time we hung out, after Booty Halloween we were talking about how clique-ish St. Louis is and I said that I was really shy and I think some people think I’m a bitch because I never talk, but really I’m just shy and quiet. And Alex was like yeah you don’t like everyone knowing everything right? Only certain people deserve to know things. And I said, yes definitely. But the strange thing is that I talk and talk and talk to Alex about anything and everything! Anyway I really wished I could have just like kissed him or at the very least not been lame and invited him out with me tonight but OH WELL. I have to go back this weekend to bring him the rest of the $ so at least I’ll see him again. I don’t think he really likes me in that way…yeah we had sex but that doesn’t mean he likes me or would want to be with me. But maybe he’s just sitting there thinking I feel that way about him and that’s why he hasn’t done anything?! I don’t know…I suck at this. I worry too much honestly, I can’t believe I wrote all that about NOTHING!

Anyway. I’ve still been talking to that Rob guy from NC and he will be here next weekend. Honestly things have just been going blah with him…I’m not that interested anymore and I decided I definitely DO NOT want to get into another long distance situation. I’m still going to meet him and hang out with him when he’s here…and I’ll probably still go to his sister’s wedding but I just feel meh about the whole thing. Another thing is that I’m kinda pissed at him now because he forgot about my birthday on Wednesday…even though we had just talked about it THE DAY BEFORE! SMH!!! MEN!

But yeah, speaking of…my birthday was Wednesday. So now I’m 28…yuck. I started thinking about all the things I’ve failed at and how I thought I’d be a lot further along in my life by now, like married, etc. but then I decided not to think of those things and think of all that I HAVE accomplished so far like graduating college, traveling more, etc. I did have fun on my actual birthday…went out for wings and drinks with Grace and 2 other friends. =)

I’ve also decided to get SERIOUS about paying off my debt because I NEED TO MOVE BACK OUT! I can’t stand living back at home and I feel like it’s making me really depressed. I feel like I’ve gone backwards. I miss having my own life and my own space. I can’t ever even really relax when I’m there. =/ I never should have moved back home but I did and now I must face it and work very hard on paying things off. I have been severely slacking at that and been going out more and more and not paid ANY extra on anything so far. I’m about to work a bunch of overtime at work though so I’m hoping that will help. I’m also going to use my tax return to pay down some debt and hoping that will really help too. I wish I had never let it get to this point but hopefully this is teaching me a lesson for the future. NO MORE CREDIT CARDS! =P

I’m sure there’s more but I’m braindead now.

Oh yeah and Sarah here are a couple pics for you but I don’t have many because MY CAMERA GOT STOLEN!!! It happened at the Booty Halloween after party but took me a few days to realize it. I went to upload my pics and NO CAMERA. =( The saddest thing about that is I have not uploaded ANY pics since Lights All Night last December…this means ALL of my festival photos from the entire summer are now GONE! F the jerk who stole my camera!!! =((

My Toadette inspired costume for Booty Halloween =)

Sunday at TomorrowWorld. This is me and some of the group…all of these people stayed at a hotel instead of camping. Me, John, Kendra, Megan, Eddie and Tara! =)

Close up of me in my awesome wig!!! =)

I can’t figure out how to get the one of fireworks off my instagram =/ But there you have it…now I’m sad thinking about all those lost pictures!!!!!!

Tonight I’m going 2 hours out of town with Jaclyn and some others to see a local St. Louis DJ play. Should be a good time. Tomorrow I’m going to a local bar with Grace & friends for a Halloween party. Love this time of year!

Happy Weekend!!!!!!!