07/10/2013

I leave for Cali today!!!!!!!!!!!! =D  I’m off work at 3:15 and the cab comes to pick us up and bring us to the airport at 4:30!  Flight at 6:30 and arrive in San Diego at 8:15 CA time (10:15 my time). WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!

I must say I’m not quite as anxious/excited as I get when I know Brad’s going to be there, but I know as soon as we land I’ll feel a lot better and more excited about being there!  Speaking of, he still has not text me or anything, but "likes" and/or comments on almost everything I post on FB or Instagram.  Though I guess that doesn’t mean much.  I’m slowly starting to realize that I was not to him what he is to me….he treats everyone the same as he treated me…I am not special to him.  I don’t like thinking that…and he has told me in the past that wasn’t true, but COME ON!  He hasn’t spoken to me for almost a month now…you don’t do that to people you truly care about, at least not in my eyes.  Sadly even though I realize all of this now, I know that when I see him at TomorrowWorld I will fall right back down again… just like the song ("Clarity") says: "A clock ticks ’til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again"…… =/

Anyway.  I called my mom yesterday, I don’t really know why.  Just wanted to whine about how stressed I am about money and let her know that I really want to move home, but I don’t know if I can because of my sister and I don’t know how I will handle it.  It turned into a HUGE GIANT fight that ended with her screaming SHUT UP at me and hanging up.  Nice.  =(  So then I called my dad and he talked sensibly to me and I guess it’s pretty much decided that I am now moving home at the end of August.  My dad said if it doesn’t work out then I can just leave again, it’s no big deal.  So yeah.  I’m hoping I can quickly pay off my credit cards and move back out and live comfortably and within my means. =)  Still haven’t talked to my mom since she hung up on me and don’t know when I will.  She is unreasonable.

So yeah. That’s about it.  Working hard on not letting myself get down over silly boys/men and money situations.  At least the money part will be under control soon.

I doubt I’ll be able to write until I come back…hope everyone has a wonderful week and weekend!!!!!!!

<3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!