If You Miss Me…

 I’m a naturally anxious person if that exists. 

My Mom seems to wonder when I became anxious… I think I was so amazing at masking it as organizational prowess and OCD that for literally 25 years we all thought that was just me. "That’s just Cosette."
Now I take medication for it and I can tell a distinct difference, BUT there are days (like today) where even the power of a synthetic miracle is not enough.

Today I’m feeling a lot of financial anxiety and it comes out in a variety of ways. 

Being unemployed since October has not been easy and while my landlords have been nothing short of amazing and understand- today they called. 
I freaked and did not answer. 
I am so worried that they are done waiting on me and will kick me out. 

I started a job today, so I WILL be able to catch up, but it is going to take a minute.

On top of that I can’t pay the registration fee for my vehicle so now anytime I drive it, I do so illegally. 
It’s a wonderful life. 

The one thing that would have calmed my nerves the way the Lord can cause a storm? Him.

But he was busy with music and the band and such. When I got upset I had to take a step back and number one note that this is what I signed up for. He has never broken a relationship promise to me, rather he does not make them. Number two I literally saw him yesterday so for all intents for purposes I need to calm down. That happens to me (and other anxious people) a lot I assume. 

SO all in all a blessed day. 
Here I am in bed with clothes, a full belly, heat, food, etc. 
I just need to take this month to get my priorities on straight and then I know that all these situations can be made right again. 

As for Him. I pray only the best. As always. 

I hope & pray that 2013 brings us both love & stability. 
For his baby girl I pray only blessings and good health. She is my light and I couldn’t be more thankful for anyone in the world. 

In Jesus’ Name Amen.

*Cosette