Ahhhh the memories..

Well.. my beloved OD is back.. without all my old entries (it says that user hasn’t written any entries) so I don’t get to look back at my crazy drama-filled entries. Haha. I’m a bit sad about the whole thing (OD being back) because I realisticly can’t afford to REALLY come back. It’s just not feasible and that makes me REALLY sad. I’ve really never needed anything more than I do this site. So many things have happened since I was last here and I can’t say any of them were good things. It has been a whirlwind of a life I’ll tell ya. Becoming a homeless drug addict being one of them. Whew – is that a crazy story. Fit for another time I suppose.

I’m also dating this kid Chris and I say kid because he’s 6ish years younger than me and often times feels like I’m in a relationship with a child. Haha. It’s been almost 2 years.. we live together.. with his parents.. yea.. it’s.. hell. I can’t stand them. But it’s not all him and them. It’s me too. I’m not blind to my part in it all. But I’m just.. different. Brought up different. Raised different. Parents are different. Well.. I do have to say at times I feel like I’m dating my father. Not like Chris treats me like I’m his daughter but as in Chris is the same person that my dad is. They have the same traits. And not the good kind.

I’m unemployed. Sad. Distraught. Lost. Unmotivated. Just kind of.. here. Going through the motions and losing my patience.

I feel like if I could have some time to write all this – too-many-chachkis-like-thoughts – down then I could figure some important shit out. But I just can’t afford to pay for OD like I’d like to.. but I can’t. And I tried so many other diary-like sites out through the years and none of them FIT like OD did. OD is home. It’s my home. And I’m sad I can’t come fully back like I’d like to because I just know in 30 days I’ll be booted off. Womp wompppp.

Well that’s it for now my loves. xxoo